You're Not Alone
by pumpkin314159
Summary: Hermione and Severus slowly begin to develop a friendship. A series of double drabbles, exactly 200 words each.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: This all belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me. **

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Professor Snape was in his normal, foul mood as he scowled at the class. Although they were fifth years, they were the biggest lot of dunderheads he had ever taught. "For homework, you will all write ONE drabble about the uses of wolfsbane" he informed the class.

A boy with white-blond hair lazily raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy" Snape called on his favorite student.

"What is a drabble, Professor?" Malfoy asked, confused with the strange word. Snape scowled. Of course the students didn't know what a drabble was. He looked around the room, and as usual one student had her hand waving wildly in the air.

"Do you need something, Miss Granger" Snape sneered at the female third of the Golden Trio.

"A drabble is a short piece of writing of exactly 100 words in length" Hermione said in a matter-of-fact voice.

Snape glared at her words. Hermione felt his searing gaze, but she resisted the urge to shrink from his stare. "I didn't ask you. Though I daresay you will be capable of writing something as concise as a drabble. Five points from Gryffindor."

"But Professor" Hermione protested.

"Make that ten" Snape replied.


	2. Chapter 2

"Professor Snape" a youthful voice called timidly. Snape looked up, frowning when he saw the person was none other than know-it-all Hermione Granger.

"Miss Granger, perhaps you should leave like the rest of your classmates" he said cooly, "Unless, of course, there is a reason for your unwanted presence."

"Actually, sir, there is" Hermione told him. She paused temporarily. Snape knew that she was nervous.

"Well, girl, what is it? I don't have all day" he told her grumpily.

"Sir, I was just wondering, are you alright?" she summoned her courage and asked the question.

Snape paused at her question. Fury lit his eyes. How dare the chit feel sorry for him, he thought. "Get...out...now" he hissed, each word pronounced.

"Sir" Hermione questioned. "It's just, you seem tired and stressed all the time."

"How dare you mock me! How dare you pretend to care about me! Is this some kind of sick joke?" Snape bellowed, "What do you want, for me to spill my secrets to your sympathetic ears so you can run off and tell wonder-boy Potter?"

"No, Sir, it's not like that."

"Leave" Snape snarled. "Get out now." Hermione fled.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione apprehensively stepped off of the lift. She raised her hand to knock on the door, but it swung open. "Come in, Miss Granger" Albus Dumbledore called. She stepped inside, impressed by the sheer magnitude of objects crammed into the headmaster's office.

"Sit down, Miss Granger, we need to talk" Dumbledore said as he indicated towards the seat in front of his desk. Once Hermione was seated, he continued, "Miss Granger, as you have noticed, Professor Snape is stressed. His position as a spy for the order is dangerous, and I am afraid for his mental state. He is alone and unhappy."

"Professor, why are you telling me this?" Hermione asked.

Dumbledore paused for a moment before he explained. "Severus isn't used to having people care about him, and indeed most people at this school hate him. But you don't, Miss Granger. I want you to befriend him so he will not be alone."

"But Sir" Hermione protested, "He hates me. I'm a Gryffindor."

Dumbledore's blue eyes stared at her as if they could see into her soul. "He doesn't hate you. He doesn't like you, but if there is one person he could become friends with, it is you."


	4. Chapter 4

"Stay after class, Miss Granger" Professor Snape called. Harry and Ron gave Hermione sympathetic glances as they hurried from the room, relieved they weren't asked to stay.

"Professor?" Hermione inquired as she walked towards his desk.

Snape sighed in vexation at the annoying presence of the bushy-haired know-it-all. "The headmaster ordered me to have you help me brew potions for the infirmary. You will report here every evening directly at 7:00 and stay till just before curfew. That is all. You may leave."

Hermione, however, stood her ground. "Thank you for letting me brew with you, Professor Snape."

Snape glared at her. "Do not thank me, insolent chit, I take no joy in being in your presence. The headmaster ordered me. Make no mistake, you are not wanted here."

Hermione was unsure how to respond. On one hand, she felt sorry for the man, yet she knew if she showed sympathy he would shut her out, making it impossible for her to befriend him. Deciding on safer words, she said "If that is all, may I leave?"

"You may." Hermione was almost out the door when he called "And Miss Granger, don't be late."


	5. Chapter 5

The Great Hall was abuzz with conversation. Hermione shoved food into her mouth, forcing herself to swallow quickly. "Slow down, Hermione" Harry told her. "You're worse than Ron."

"Hey" Ron protested through a mouthful of food. Harry looked at Hermione as if to say case-and-point.

"I know, Harry. I have to go see Professor Snape."

"The greasy git didn't give you detention, did he?" Harry asked incredulously. While Snape took joy in assigning detentions and handed them out like most people did candy on Halloween, Hermione rarely received detentions.

"No, I'm helping him brew" Hermione told them.

"Impossible" Ron told her, his mouth devoid of food, "He never lets anyone help him brew. You're joking."

"I'm not" Hermione said. "It was Professor Dumbledore's idea. He wants me to help Professor Snape." She wisely decided not to tell them about Dumbledore's other idea. Harry and Ron would go ballistic if they knew she was also supposed to befriend their most-hated professor.

"Well, good luck then" Harry intoned with a hint of sarcasm in his voice as Hermione stood and grabbed her bag.

"Thanks" she replied as she hurried from the room.


	6. Chapter 6

"Enter" the baritone voice of Professor Snape called as Hermione knocked. She stepped into the dark room and walked forwards. She looked around for cauldrons, but saw none. "We will be brewing in my private lab" Snape informed her.

Hermione spun around in surprise at the noise. She hadn't seen the man hidden in the shadows. As she turned, her heavy book bag caused her to stumble. She fell onto the ice cold stone floor. Snape stared at her, not saying a word. Hermione pushed herself up, her bum stinging from the hard impact on the floor. For once, she was glad for the darkness in the room, for otherwise Snape would have seen the bright red flush that was rapidly igniting her face.

"Miss Granger, while you are a klutz, try not to destroy my lab" he said. Hermione paused. Was that amusement she heard, disguised behind his uncaring demeanor? It couldn't be. Professor Snape didn't have a sense of humor.

The dark man turned, his robes billowing behind him. Hermione scrambled to catch up with the man's fast stride. Her calves burned, but she ignored them. It was going to be a long evening.


	7. Chapter 7

"Blood replenishing potion. Go" was all Snape said once they entered his lab. Hermione looked around in awe. There were multiple worktables, all with different types of cauldrons. It was meticulously organized with ingredients neatly labeled on the shelves. "What are you waiting for?" Snape snapped at her lack of action.

Hermione hurried into action, gathering the ingredients she would need. She choose a workstation and began. Snape did the same in silence. She focused on the potion before her, careful not to screw it up. Once she was finished, she turned off the heat so the potion could cool.

For the first time in hours, she spared a glance to the owner of the lab. Snape was intent on his potion, his graceful fingers adding just the right amount of ingredients while his other hand stirred counterclockwise. Hermione was entranced by his focused concentration.

She admired the man. For the first time, he looked almost calm. Brewing the potion in peace was relaxing to him. She hadn't even realized Snape had sensed her gaze on him until he said "You may go, Miss Granger."

Insufferable, Hermione thought as she left the lab. He didn't even say thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

Two weeks passed and the pattern continued. In class, Snape would continue to insult her, and in the evenings she would help him brew. In any one session, he would never say more than four of five words to her. He only told her the potion. Hermione groaned in frustration. She was supposed to be befriending the distant man.

Snape was not an amiable, chatty man by any stretch of the imagination, but it still hurt to be ignored. Hermione looked at the clock. It was an hour before curfew, and she had finished her potion early. Cleaning up her workstation, she then went to Snape's workstation. She looked at the ingredients and the potion, immediately recognizing it a a dreamless sleep draught. Hermione picked up a knife and began slicing the asphodel roots.

Snape glared at her, angered that she would interfere. "I do know how to cut these" Hermione informed him as she continued slicing.

Two hours later, the potion was finished as it finally turned its characteristic purple hue. "It's after curfew" Snape told Hermione. "I'll walk you to Gryffindor Tower."

Silently, he left the room. Neither said anything the rest of the night.


	9. Chapter 9

The next evening, Hermione and Snape were brewing in silence. Unexpectedly, Snape groaned. He dropped the stirring rod and clutched his arm. Hermione immediately set hers down and hurried to him. "What's wrong?" she asked the man. Something was wrong, she knew. Snape never grimaced. He was certainly in pain.

Snape straightened for a moment, before a new wave of pain overcame him and he slumped once more. "I've been called" he told her. Hermione immediately understood; there was no need for further words.

"Go" she told him gently, "I'll inform the headmaster."

Snape nodded to her gratefully. With a flick of his wand, his robes changed. Hermione shuddered. She had never seen Death Eater robes, but she had no doubt that was what they were. "Professor Snape" she called just as the man was about to leave the room. He turned, looking at her, for the first time ever showing concern on his face. "Come back safely, ok."

Snape just nodded and left. The moment he was gone, Hermione collapsed back against the table, breathing faster. She struggled to calm herself, knowing hyperventilating would not help the man. She went to inform Dumbledore of the events.


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione paced the corridors of the ground floor. It was after midnight and Snape still hadn't returned. Hermione didn't care that it was after curfew or that she could be caught. Her mind was full or worries about Snape. She turned the corner, and as she did so, she felt something wet underfoot and reached down.

"Lumos" she whispered and aimed her wand at her fingers. A deep, red substance coated her finger.

Blood.

Hermione panicked. She shined the light from her wand across the hall, and eventually it lit upon a figure laying in a heap on the floor. She ran towards the figure. As she neared, she knew, without a doubt, that it was Snape.

She dropped to her knees, ignoring the puddle of blood drenching her robes. "Expecto Patronum" she called, a silver otter gliding from her wand.

Hermione pulled Snape's head onto her lap and pulled back his mask. With a spell, his robes were gone, leaving him in normal clothes. Deep gashes covered his entire body. Hermione stroked his hair, unable to do anything. "Please, don't die. Please don't die" she whispered over and over, wondering when help would come.


	11. Chapter 11

Severus Snape stirred in and out of consciousness. His body was convulsing in pain and he had already lost too much blood. All he desired for the pain to fade. "Please, don't die" a girl's voice called softly, refusing to let him die.

Snape wanted to let the eternal darkness take him, but the soft female voice anchored him to the world. He couldn't identify who the speaker was, but he knew she was upset. At one point, he could have sworn a teardrop fell onto his face. He was stunned. No one cried over the greasy bat of the dungeons.

The corridor grew brighter, but Snape still couldn't see his surroundings. He heard other unidentifiable voices. They were people he should know, but his traumatized mind didn't allow him to identify them. Instead, he let them take care of him, unable to resist the treatment. Spells were cast all over his body, and once one of the voices deemed him safe to move, he was levitated into the air to what he could only assume was the infirmary.

Snape was unconscious before he could even register being placed onto one of the hospital beds.


	12. Chapter 12

Snape was not in class the next day. Harry and Ron were relieved at his absence, but Hermione was worried. While she wouldn't admit it, she had grown to care for the snarky potions master. In their evening brewing sessions, he exuded a sense of tranquility that he never showed in the presence of others, and Hermione wanted to discover who that hidden man was.

"Now, today you will be brewing lemon drops" Professor Dumbledore, who was subbing for Snape's class, instructed the students. Hermione sighed. While the rest of the students watched Dumbledore explain how to make the muggle candy, Hermione scanned the potions syllabus. She flipped to a page in the textbook and began writing the assigned essay on the uses of Re'em blood in strengthening solution. A potion might help Harry defeat Voldemort. Lemon drops certainly wouldn't.

For the rest of the day, the fifth year students buzzed around the castle on sugar highs. Some lemon drops also contained essence of euphoria, making the normal wild adolescent behavior a million times worse. Harry and Ron were no exception. With a glare of frustration at her friends, Hermione stormed out of the common room.


	13. Chapter 13

The irritated witch made her way towards the infirmary. She cast her gaze over the beds, searching for one person in particular. Spotting him, she made her way over. The figure on the cot was asleep, so Hermione sat down in a chair, looking over the unusually pale face and greasy hair of the Potions Master.

"It was you who found me last night, wasn't it?" the man on the bed asked. Hermione straightened in her seat, startled that he was awake.

"I...I...It was me" she admitted.

A pregnant pause stretched. Hermione squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. The man's continued silence was intimidating, and she was feeling quite a bit nervous.

"You saved my life" Snape said dryly.

"It's nothing..." Hermione began but was cut off.

"Albus says that if it wasn't for you, I would be dead. I owe you a life debt, Miss Granger. Think on what you want, and once I am released from the hospital wing, if it is within my power to grant your request, I will."

"Did Professor Dumbledore ask you to say that?" Hermione knew Snape would not give such an offer without outside interference.

"He did."


	14. Chapter 14

The next day was Saturday, and all the students relished the weekend and the brief respite from homework except Hermione who cited the need to write her transfiguration essays that were due in over a month.

That evening, Harry returned to the common room, his hand covered in blood. Hermione grabbed it, incensed at Umbridge's method of punishment. "We need to learn defense against the dark arts" she hissed in frustration.

"Harry, you should teach us defense against the dark arts. We need a teacher" she said. Harry looked shocked, though Ron didn't seem surprised.

"Hermione, I'm not an expert on stuff like that" he protested.

"But you have some experience, and that is better than facing Voldemort completely unprepared. We need to learn to fight, and that horrid woman won't do it. Please, at least consider the idea?" Hermione begged.

Harry nodded in agreement. Hermione kept a smile from her face. After seeing Snape return from a Death Eater meeting almost dead, she realized how truly unprepared the students were to fight Voldemort. If someone as skilled at dueling as Professor Snape could be bested, a bunch of untrained fifth years had no chance whatsoever.


	15. Chapter 15

Monday morning Snape returned to teaching. All the Gryffindors in the class groaned. As senile as Dumbledore could act sometimes, they much preferred Dumbledore teaching them about lemon drops than the snarky Potions Master.

"Turn in your essays from Friday" Snape instructed. Only one person in the class moved. Hermione held a parchment in hand as she put it on Snape's desk and returned to her seat.

"But Sir" Harry protested, "Professor Dumbledore never told us to write an essay."

"You have a syllabus, do you not?" Snape asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Yes...but..."

"But nothing" Snape cut him off. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for failing to do you homework. Twenty points from each of you for failing to do your homework, with the exception of Miss Granger."

The class was stunned. Snape frequently used every opportunity to take points fro Gryffindor, but he never did so for Slytherin. His favoritism of his own house was unparalleled. Shocked murmurs ran around the room.

"But Professor Snape" Malfoy drawled.

"No buts, Mr. Malfoy." Snape turned to the rest of the class. "Does anyone else have complaints."

Silence. If anyone had a complaint, they knew better than to speak.


	16. Chapter 16

Hermione arrived early in the evening for her additional brewing sessions. She knocked on the door to the classroom and waited for a reply. When none came, she steeled herself to enter the room. As she entered, Snape was covering third-year essays in red ink, and none of the scribbles contained praise. Snape continued writing, and Hermione knew better than to interrupt him. After he finished the essay, he placed his quill down and looked up. "You're early."

"Yes. I figured out what I want" she said.

"As fascinating as your personal discoveries sound, Miss Granger, I don't have time" Snape responded sarcastically.

"As payment for your life debt" Hermione told him. Snape frowned at her.

"Miss Granger..." he began.

"Professor Snape," she cut him off, "You promised you would fulfill your life debt. While you are, forgive me for saying this, but a Slytherin, I know you will honor your promise."

"Miss Granger, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, Albus decided I owed you. He wanted me to give you something. Now that I am recovered, I have no desire to do so."

Hermione looked at the man as she told him anyways.


	17. Chapter 17

"Absolutely not, Miss Granger. What you are asking is inappropriate. You are my student."

"It may seem inappropriate and I may be your student, but it is what I want in repayment."

"I told you, Miss Granger, I refuse to fulfill the debt. Ask for something cheap and frivolous and you may have it, but I will not, I repeat, I will not have a part in what you are suggesting."

"Professor Snape, I understand your hesitation. But it is what I want."

"And as I said before, it is inappropriate. Miss Granger, you may think I have no morals, but I do. I refuse to bend them for you, life debt of no. What you are asking is preposterous. A female student spending time in her male professor's quarters? You are out of your mind. You are too immature to know what you want"

"I'm old enough to know what I want, and I want that. And I'm mature."

"You're fifteen. Hardly mature."

"Then kindly ask Vol..."

"Don't say the name!"

"Fine. you-know-who to wait till Harry's an adult."

"The fact remains, I will not risk my job for your whims."


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione sat awkwardly in the chair across from Snape. She had backed down at the end of their argument. Since he didn't want to form a casual friendship in the comfort of his quarters, she agreed for their meetings to take place in his office. After much coercion and threats, Hermione finally made him agree to meet with her for two hours a week on non-school, non-order related things. When Hermione devised the plan, she though only it would allow her to speak to the man, one-on-one, so that they could develop a friendship. As they sat in silence, she realized how foolish her idea had been. The man didn't want to be there, and the silence making her nervous. She wasn't afraid of the Potions Master, but in that moment, he was making her feel anxious, and Hermione Granger never felt anxious. Hermione shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. Snape didn't reply. If he was forced to give his attention to the brat for two hours each week, then it was better passed in silence. At least then he didn't have to listen to her obnoxious chatter.


	19. Chapter 19

Hermione was prepared for the next week's meeting with Professor Snape. She read many articles on potions and was prepared to discuss them.

"Come in, Miss Granger" Snape greeted her calmly. Getting a cheerful response from him was futile.

Once she was seated, she began, "I read an article in Potions Weekly. It said that the time taken to brew the felix felicis potion could be cut down from six months to three."

"Ah" Severus replied. "You are referring to Regulus Moonshine's article."

"So you've read it?" Hermione questioned.

"I have, and I found it flawed. The suggestions he made are dangerous, and more likely to cause the potion to become unstable and explode or to render it ineffective upon completion."

"But what if it does work?" Hermione protested, unwilling to fall to silence this week too.

"Miss Granger, Regulus Moonshine is a not a trustworthy potioneer. His area of expertise is in love potions, hardly anything of consequence. The man is a fake, and you should not trust his what he writes" Severus explained. He wouldn't tell her, but he was actually enjoying the conversation. The people who could converse with him intellectually were rare.


	20. Chapter 20

The meetings continued like that, Hermione and Severus talking about anything related to potions. Soon, the conversation expanded into their nightly brewing sessions. "Make every third stir counterclockwise, Miss Granger" Snape told her.

Hermione reread the instructions on the page. "But sir, the instructions say always clockwise."

"It is more effective that way."

Hermione frowned and did as he said. Much to her chagrin, his change had an immediate effect on the potion. After only three stirs, she watched as the potion turned from murky brown to bright gold just as the instructions described..

"Thanks" Hermione told him gruffly.

Snape smirked at her. "Yes, as a Potions Master I do, on occasion, know a thing or two about potions."

Hermione felt her jaw drop. Snape made a joke. She immediately snapped her mouth shut, realizing how stupid she must look. Then, with a glint of amusement in her eye, she teased "Did Professor Snape, snarky git and bat of the dungeons, make a joke? The world must be coming to an end or else I am deceived."

Severus was unsure how to reply, so instead he turned back to his potion. The girl wouldn't die if she was ignored.


	21. Chapter 21

Hermione dropped a book onto the table in frustration. Although she loved studying, sometimes she just wanted to relax. With an audible sigh, she picked the book back up and resumed reading. Minutes later and she was still bored. She dropped the book back down onto the table.

"Careful, Miss Granger, wouldn't want anyone to think you were acting abnormally" a voice said from behind.

Hermione spun around to face the familiar man. His face was as pale as ever, and there was no hope for his greasy hair, but his expression was softer, like when they were alone.

"You scared me" she accused him. Snape shrugged, as if her state of mind was inconsequential to him.

"Then get..." he trailed off as Malfoy walked by and his face hardened. Malfoy, seeing Hermione talking to Snape, stopped.

"What did you do this time, Granger?" he jeered. "Oh, I know, you are a mudblood who doesn't belong here. Isn't that right Professor Snape."

"Mind your own business, Mr. Malfoy" Snape refrained from snapping back at the boy, though his tone of voice still suggested he was mad. "This doesn't concern you. And you, Miss Granger, behave yourself."


	22. Chapter 22

Snape was frustrated. The dunderheads were incapable of cleaning up after themselves. He raised his wand, ready to clean the mess only to find it already taken care of as Hermione pocketed her wand.

"They can be a mess sometimes, can't they?" she asked him.

"You're one of those teens too" Snape pointed out.

Hermione was quiet for a moment. "In number of years, but I feel older. I just can't seem to relate to any of them at an intellectual level."

Severus wasn't sure how to respond. Instead, he settled for another topic. "Hermione, I must admit that I've grown rather fond of our weekly meetings, and I would like to let you know that I wouldn't be opposed to extending them to later in the evenings, of course if you don't mind that is" he rambled in a long sentence.

Hermione beamed at his words. She was finally befriending him. He wanted to spend time with her. She was ecstatic, and watching him talk about their friendship like an adolescent teenager talking to the girl he liked only endeared him to her further.

"Of course. I love talking to you too."


	23. Chapter 23

"Oh!" Hermione gasped suddenly. Snape looked at her curiously. "I didn't realize how late it was already" she explained.

Snape glanced at his watch. "It's after curfew" he stated simply. Hermione nodded and looked away, waiting for the inevitable point loss that was sure to follow. "I suppose I'll have to walk you back to your common room."

Hermione looked up surprised. "What?" she asked him incredulously.

"Well, you can't walk back by yourself. It's after curfew" Snape replied, confused at her questioning.

"You aren't going to take points away?" Hermione asked.

"Why would I?" was Snape's only response. Hermione looked downwards.

"Well, you just normally use any excuse to take away points from Gryffindor" she explained sheepishly.

"Indeed." There was a brief span of silence. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Only ten, sir?" curiosity again.

"Are you daft, girl? Do you want me to take away more points?" Snape could hardly believe what she was saying. Any other student would be overjoyed at loosing so few points for being out after curfew.

"Forgive me for saying this, but it's just surprising that you're not sending Gryffindor house points into a deficit."


	24. Chapter 24

"Get back" Snape hissed suddenly as he pushed Hermione towards the wall and threw his body in front of her protectively. Hermione waited in silence, gazing around the darkened corridor for signs of what had upset the man.

Snape scanned the deserted corridor. Sensing nothing there, he lowered his wand. Stepping away from Hermione, he said "I apologize. I thought I sensed something."

"Like what?" Hermione asked. She had not felt anything.

"Watching eyes" he replied. Even in the darkened hallway, Hermione could still sense he was disturbed by whatever he had sensed.

Seeing nothing there, she attempted to lighten the mood by saying "Paranoia."

"Doubtful" was his response. From his tone of voice, he was still concerned as they resumed walking. Hermione wanted to believe his actions came purely from paranoia, but she couldn't. The man had to be a good spy to deceive Voldemort, and perceptive as well. Something had been there, even if it was well hidden. She shivered.

"Cold?" Snape asked her.

"I'm fine" she shrugged, not wanting to tell him the real reason for her shiver was apprehension. Nevertheless, he sped up so she could return to the warmth of Gryffindor tower sooner.


	25. Chapter 25

Hermione collapsed into the warmth of her bed. She was grateful her room mates were already asleep when she walked in. She didn't need to deal with their chatter. She sighed and stared at the ceiling. She tossed and turned but sleep eluded her.

"What happened?" she mused. "Something was there." If it wasn't after curfew, she would have already been in the library researching possible causes of the disturbance. Since it was after curfew, she would have to wait till the next day, and having an unanswered question did not bode well for her attempt to sleep.

She sighed again as she tossed and turned. The sheets tangled, and she righted them, still more concerned with her unanswered question. Hermione closed her eyes and remembered what her mother told her when she was little and had trouble falling asleep. "One, two, three, four, five..." she mentally recited, imagining each identical sheep. By sheep 1045, however, she decided it wasn't working and stopped counting. Perhaps she should just use her new found friendship with Professor Snape to ask for a vial of dreamless sleep potion. The moment she thought that, she scoffed. "Like he would consider it."


	26. Chapter 26

"Oh, it's the mudblood Granger" Malfoy sneered.

"At least I have magical talent" Hermione retorted.

"So that's what your kind call it. Talent" scoffed Malfoy.

"My kind" Hermione retorted furiously. "At least my kind don't have to buy their grades like you do. We can remain professional."

"Depends on your profession" Malfoy returned.

Hermione was silenced, stunned at his remark. "Just what are you trying to insinuate, Malfoy?" she asked.

"Nothing" he smirked, knowing he had won. "But tell me, just how often do you have to let them shag you to get your grades?"

"How dare you suggest..." Hermione screamed at him, enraged at his accusation. At that moment, Snape strode down the corridor.

"Ten points from yelling in the corridor" he told her. Malfoy smirked.

"But, please, Professor Snape, he said that I...that I..."

"That you what?" Snape demanded.

"Sleep with teachers for my grades" she stuttered, tears welling in her eyes. Snape felt outraged as she said that. How dare his godson suggest such a thing? But as a double agent, there was nothing he could do to punish the boy.

"Can I have a go at her after you, godfather?" Malfoy smirked.


	27. Chapter 27

Snape turned away from his godson, knowing that if he stayed he would hurt the boy. Seeing Granger upset had made him feel something, sorrow for her, he thought, but upon hearing what happened, his anger reached new levels.

He recalled Hermione's flight, and the tears in her eyes as she left. Not knowing why he cared what the know-it-all-Gryffindor-that-had-slowly-wormed-her- way-into-his-heart Granger was feeling, he followed her down the corridor.

Snape knew class started and he was absent, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He followed his instincts, letting them lead him down the corridor. At last he found her. The girl was curled in the fetal position, leaning against a corner in the wall, face cast downwards as sobs wracked her body. He should find a way to comfort her, but he didn't know how. Without personal experience, he wasn't sure how to comfort people. Snape stared at her for a moment before turning away, and then went to McGonagall's classroom. He stormed to the front and hastily explained the situation so the class couldn't hear, ignoring all the curious stares.


	28. Chapter 28

"Well get to work!" Snape hissed once he walked into his classroom. The students sat at their desks. Even though he was ten minutes late, none had dared leave without permission. They were too afraid. Seeing them failing to move, he snapped "Now!"

That seemed to get their attention. Frantically, the fourth years scrambled to the storage cupboard to retrieve supplies for the potion written on the board. Within minutes, they were cutting and slicing ingredients. Snape watched each student, enjoying the sense of terror he could inspire in the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws.

Seeing one of the girls daydreaming, he stormed to the back of the room and stood behind her. The girl's blond hair gently framed her face as she faced him. "Wrakspurt got you, Professor Snape?" she asked in a dreamy voice.

"Ten points from Ravenclaw, Miss Lovegood" he snapped. It felt good to take points away, but at seeing her slightly hurt expression, he regretted his harsh behavior. She wasn't the one he was mad at.

'First I feel a strange urge to be friendly and now I'm sorry for mistreating students. I need to get Granger out of my head' Snape thought.


	29. Chapter 29

Snape paced in the headmaster's office, Albus's penetrating gaze never leaving his face. He stopped and turned to face the headmaster. "Severus" Albus said gently. "You care about her. Don't push her away."

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"I am referring to Miss Granger. It is quite obvious you care for her."

"I don't care for anyone except Lily."

Dumbledore read his mind and decided otherwise. The old wizard just smiled. "All I'm saying is let her in. She is much less fickle than Lily, and she is much more loyal. Perhaps, Severus, if you let her in she could help you forget Lily."

Snape was stunned. "Are you suggesting I start a relationship with a student?" he asked incredulously.

"Not at all" Dumbledore replied. "Only don't let Lily's actions prevent you from having friends. Not all people act like her, and she treated you poorly, Severus. Help Miss Granger, befriend her, and you might find the happiness you've missed all these years."

"Even if I desired her friendship, it would be too dangerous for her, Albus."

"She's Harry's best friend. She's already in danger."


	30. Chapter 30

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It has really encouraged me to keep writing. I'm going on a trip and I won't be able to update for a few days, so I have four double drabbles today. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

Snape left the headmaster's office. He was confused by the headmaster's words, though he did decide he would actively seek out Hermione Granger's friendship. Albus was right; he cared for her and she was much less fickle than Lily. Not only that but she tolerated him, and could discuss things with him unlike all the other dunderhead students. Snape resolved that he would finally let someone in, that he would finally allow himself to care for someone.

He was on his way to his office, to wait for her to show up so he could finally tell her how much her desire to be friends meant to him, how he wanted to reciprocate. He would explain that he wasn't used to having friends, but he wanted to try for her. He had cared about her for quite some time, but was always too afraid to say anything. That was going to change, however, and he would reveal his desires. He was sure that the Gryffindor would be enthusiastic. While Snape sometimes thought Albus was a senile old man, he did have his moments.

Snape heard hushed voices down the hall. He sunk back into the shadows so he could eavesdrop.

* * *

"You've been seeing a lot of Snape" Ron commented to Hermione.

"It's Professor Snape" Hermione reprimanded.

"Whatever" Ron grunted in response.

"Hermione, it's just that, we wondered if there was, you know, something going on there."

Hermione was about to ask what Harry meant by that when Ron interrupted. His stomach growled loudly. He grinned sheepishly at them. "Sorry. Must be hungry again."

"You're always hungry, Ronald" Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation. She loved Ron dearly as a friend, but sometimes he was such a teenage boy.

"Lets go get something to eat at the Great Hall" Harry suggested.

Ron enthusiastically nodded his agreement. "Sure thing" Hermione agreed. "Let me get my book bag first."

Harry and Ron rolled their eyes at their friend as she ran up the girls staircase to get her books. Only bookworm extrodinaire Hermione Granger would require textbooks to go get dinner. But that was why she was Hermione, and neither boy could deny that her book knowledge had helped them on many occasions. In fact, it was her know-it-all tendencies that kept them alive multiple times over. The two waited, though Ron's stomach growled an angry protest at having to wait.

* * *

"Hermione, you've just been spending more time with Snape than you are with us. Are you sure nothing is going on between you two."

For once, Hermione didn't bother correcting Harry. "Listen, Harry, nothing is going on between us. I promise you."

Harry noticed an unnatural pause in her speech. He started to feel a little suspicious that she wasn't telling him the full story. Ron, however, was completely oblivious, only concentrating on getting to the Great hall so he could eat.

"Are you sure about that, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Of course I'm sure" Hermione retorted, slightly peeved that Harry had just accused her of lying.

"I know you wouldn't lie, Hermione, I'm just concerned for you" Harry explained. Hermione felt her anger subside at Harry's genuine concern for her well-being.

"Thanks, Harry" she replied. Once again, Harry sensed something was strange, but he couldn't quite place it.

At last, a sudden realization came over him. "Hermione... You don't...No, that's impossible. Forget I said anything."

Hermione was curious. Harry seemed hesitant about something, and she hated feeling ignorant. "What is it?"

"It seems really unlikely, but Hermione, you don't have a crush on the greasy git or anything?"

* * *

Snape heard people approaching, and recognized the unintelligible mumbling as Harry and Hermione. Suddenly, he heard Hermione exclaim, "What! No, Harry, absolutely not!"

"Let it go, mate" Ron told Harry, but Harry, noticed the flush on Hermione's cheeks.

"No, Ron, she's blushing. She does have a crush on him" he said. Snape couldn't quite place Potter's tone. It didn't sound happy, that was for sure.

"So maybe I do have a crush on him. But he's older than me, so its not like anything will come of it" Hermione tried to rationalize her feelings. Snape, listening in on her admission, felt a strange twinge in his chest. He was upset to learn that Hermione had a crush on an older boy. A seventh year, perhaps, he thought.

"That's just eww, Hermione" Snape heard Ron say. He was confused at the ginger's words, but then again, the Weasley boy had the IQ of an ape. If it didn't have to deal with food, sleep or brooms, he wasn't interested.

"Can we just drop this" Hermione pleaded. Snape agreed with her. He had heard enough. Without the trio ever realizing he was there, he softly disappeared in the corridor fighting his jealousy.


	31. Chapter 31

"Professor, did I do something wrong?" Hermione asked.

"Not at all" he answered, though his tone revealed he was upset.

"You're mad at me. I can tell because you're not acting normally" Hermione said.

Snape stared at her. After a moment, he said "If you have a problem here, you can leave. Your presence certainly isn't wanted." The moment the sound left his lips, he regretted it. Although he was frustrated with her, he didn't mean to push her away.

Hermione looked upset at his words. The hurt was clearly written across her face. "Well, if that's how you feel" she started, waiting for him to contradict her. Snape wanted too, but he was still to mad with what he overheard to reveal the cause of his anger to her.

"I guess I'll go then" Hermione murmured as she gathered her books. She stood in the doorway, waiting for him to call her back and apologize. Nothing happened. When it was clear Snape would not rectify whatever argument they had, she stormed from the room. Snape felt his heart twinge as the girl left the room, not realizing what he was feeling was jealousy.


	32. Chapter 32

Wow, over fifty reviews now. You guys are amazing.

* * *

"Kiss me" a soft, feminine voice pleaded. Snape looked at the owner, her brown curls falling down her back, full breasts and wide hips. "Kiss me, Severus" the woman repeated. He pulled the warm body into his arms as he forcefully pressed his lips to hers, plundering her mouth and not giving her any time to resist.

He pulled back for air and was pleased to see her red lips bruised from his kiss. Her hair was matted and tangled from where he had gripped it in his fists. He trailed his gaze down her body and groaned in frustration at the clothing interrupting his view. With a flick of his wand and a "Divesto" her shirt and jeans were gone, leaving the witch in only her matching green bra and panties.

Snape grabbed the witch again, his grip firm but not so much that he would accidentally hurt her. He held her in his arms as he used his weight to lean over her, slowly pushing her body downwards onto the fluffy mattress on the bed. The woman laid back, gazing adoringly into his eyes. She raised her arms and wrapped them around him, pulling him closer towards her.


	33. Chapter 33

"Hermione" Snape yelled in his sleep. His own voice betrayed him and woke him up. Snape shuddered at the dream. When reality fully returned, he realized he had a raging erection.

"You're a sick man," he told himself. "She's your student, she's sixteen and you're old enough to be her her father, and you had a dream about her." As much as Snape scolded himself, he couldn't get the sight the girl out of his head. She was beautiful, her body matured in all the right places as he kissed her, the woman eagerly responding to his touches.

"And you're a pervert," he told himself. "Stop lusting over your student," his mind screamed as he tried to calm down. However, his body stubbornly refused to cooperate, still alert at the thought of his beautiful student. Student being the operative word.

Grudgingly, he dragged himself out of his bed and prepared for the day. Clearly, he had let his friendship with the girl go too far already. This was further proof for his new attitude towards Miss Granger. He couldn't let his feelings for her deepen any further, as much as it hurt him.


	34. Chapter 34

Hermione followed Harry and Ron into the Great Hall. She was unusually quiet, but they were not concerned with her brooding. It was not unusual. The cause of her concern, however, would shock them. She was still reeling from her dream about Snape the previous night. She had a crush on the man, but never had she dreamed of him before.

Snape's coal black eyes gazed into hers as she sat down. She immediately turned away, blushing at her inappropriate inner musings. Snape, too, looked away. Albus gave him a knowing glance, which Snape ignored. "Stupid man," he thought, "it's Dumbledore's fault that I'm lusting over her now. She's my student and my friend, and my feelings certainly aren't appropriate."

Snape abruptly stood up. His interactions with the lovely Miss Granger must end at once, for her sake at least, he told himself. He would no longer sit and talk with her; he would ban her from brewing with him. He could not let his admiration for her dictate his actions. If the girl found out his affection for her, him, the greasy bat of the dungeons, she would surely be horrified beyond repair.


	35. Chapter 35

"Hermione, these meetings have to stop" Snape told her after class one day. "My debt to you is paid, so consider these lessons over. Also, I will resume brewing for the infirmary by myself. Your presence is unnecessary."

"So you are mad at me" Hermione said. "Please, just tell me what I did wrong so we can fix this."

"Don't you get it, Hermione?" Snape murmured, "I must push you away. I have to be alone. Each minute you spend by me puts you in more danger, and I will not have it. You are the one student here I consider my friend, and I won't have your well-being jeopardized by your silly attachment to me."

"Listen to me Severus." Hermione resisted yelling. Snape was startled at her use of his first name, but he didn't show it. "Firstly, my affection isn't silly and secondly, you shouldn't be friendless. I want to be your friend."

"This is non-negotiable. I am too much of a danger to you."

"Thats ridiculous. We're friends!"

"I'm better off alone, Miss Granger. I've always been alone. I won't have you killed because of me."


	36. Chapter 36

"You're mad at me for something!" Hermione countered. "What is it? I have no idea what I've done. If I did we wouldn't be having this silly argument."

"I'm not angry at you. I'm ending this for your safety," he replied calmly.

Hermione was silent. At last, she spat out "I'm sorry. Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry."

"You did nothing..."

"Don't" she cut him off. "We both know that's a lie. If I did or said something to offend you...Oh" Hermione gasped. "You didn't hear my conversation with Harry and Ron the other day, did you?" Snape considered her horrified expression. He knew exactly the conversation she was referring to.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Miss Granger." His voice was emotionless. Hermione was about to believe his lie when she noticed a small glint in his eye. He knew exactly what conversation she was talking about. Then, she blushed. That's why he was pushing her away. He was nauseated that his student had a crush on him. That had to be it. There was no other explanation for his increasingly strange behavior.


	37. Chapter 37

Every moment he could Snape watched his estranged friend. Each time he saw her, he felt a sharp pang. She was so close, yet so far. Every time their glances met, she would look hurriedly away, but not before he saw the hurt and anger in her eyes. He hadn't meant to hurt her; he was just trying to protect her. Somehow, his intentions didn't matter, because she was hurting at his cold treatment towards her.

"How could I do this again, Lily" Snape whispered quietly to his old friend and love. "Why is it the only people I ever care for end up mad at me?" he asked, not expecting an answer to his question yet not bothering to conceal the palpable pain in his countenance.

"Oh, Lily, what have I done?" Snape slammed his fist into the wall. He felt the sting of the blow against the hard stone wall and the sticky trickle of blood down his knuckles. He didn't care. This pain, the physical pain, was more tolerable than his emotional one. And if that discomfort could disguise his mental hurt, then the ache of a nearly broken fist was far more bearable.


	38. Chapter 38

"That man is absolutely unbelievable. I finally get him to warm up to me, finally become his friend, and he tells me he never wants to see me again, but I know he's lying to himself. He desires...no, he _needs_ friendship. Why isn't that insufferable man willing to be my friend?

"Is it because he feels I'm not good enough? Is he secretly prejudiced against blood? That can't be true. He follows Dumbledore's orders. Dumbledore would know if he was lying.

"Stop thinking about him, Hermione. You are so stupid. You think you are different from everyone else, that you are special enough that he will actually talk to you. I know better but it doesn't make this whole fiasco any easier, now does it? Stop your incessant blabbering, Hermione, what if someone overhears you talking to yourself?

"I feel like I've gone mental. I, Hermione Granger, self-proclaimed know-it-all. Why did I have to be so stupid? It was so stupid to make friends with the man. Stupid coming to care for him. Bloody hell, I can't believe I'm stupid enough to develop a crush on him."


	39. Chapter 39

Snape watched Hermione in potions class. She didn't raise her hand once, completely uncharacteristic for the know-it-all. She silently prepared her potion, following the instructions exactly. When she approached his desk to turn it in, she made no attempt to acknowledge him, only averting her eyes and ignoring his gaze. She refused to smile at him, refused to give any indication that she knew he was there.

The moment the class was over, Hermione hurried from the dungeons, Harry and Ron fast on her heels, though they didn't understand the cause for her flight. When they reached transfiguration, their next class, Hermione finally slowed, allowing them to catch up with her.

"Geeze, Hermione, I feel like fleeing the dungeons too but that was fast," Ron panted as he caught up.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Harry asked her, concerned for her well-being.

"Nothing. Just me being silly, really," Hermione tried to reassure her friends. "Could you call a DA meeting tonight? I could really use the distraction."

"Sure thing," Harry told her, fishing out his gold coin to send the message. As soon as he was done, he replaced the coin before anyone else could see.


	40. Chapter 40

"Bombardia," Hermione screamed loudly as she pointed her wand at the wooden dummy. Her spell hit the yellow target circle, and upon impact, the dummy exploded. Dust flew and wooden splinters rained down.

"Nice one," Harry called.

Hermione beamed for the first time in days. Destroying the statue was cathartic. As they went to pair off practicing other spells, Harry grabbed Hermione's arm. Hermione turned to face him with her questioning gaze. "Try not to kill anyone, Hermione," he told her, careful not to phrase it as a question so as not to anger her.

"Of course not. I just needed to relieve some stress. I'm already feeling better."

"Good. Now get moving," Harry told her.

Hermione grinned at him and turned to face her partner, Lavender. Normally, the two girls didn't get along, which was why Hermione was paired with her. Harry thought that if Lavender was faced with someone she didn't like, her spells would be much more effective. Hermione didn't protest the excuse to send hexes back at the most annoying of her roommates.

"Expeliarmus," Hermione lazily cast the hex at Lavender. Lavender quickly cast a protego, barely protecting herself in time.


	41. Chapter 41

Snape woke up and stretched. The moment he was awake, he cursed and looked down. "It's like I'm an adolescent again" he muttered grumpily. Ever since the girl had wormed her way into his heart, he had been having nightly dreams of her. He needed to get Hermione out of his head.

He wasn't a horny teenager anymore, but his body sure acted like it. He hadn't remembered waking up with so many erections since he was a student. After he finally dealt with his morning problem, he dressed quickly, not even bothering to look at his appearance in the mirror. There was no point. With most of the students home for Christmas, there was no one to see him. Not that he cared on a normal day, anyways. He knew he was no picture of beauty with his swallow complexion, long nose and constantly greasy hair.

Once he was ready, he left the sanctuary of his quarters. He dreaded stepping foot into the Great Hall that was sure to be decorated in Christmas colors. How he detested the holiday. It was for blubbering fools bearing unwanted gifts and way to much cheer for his liking.


	42. Chapter 42

Snape entered Grimmauld Place, though the gloomy house was not an improvement over the Great hall. He was most apprehensive about seeing one person in particular.

"Severus," Molly exclaimed as she hugged him. Snape froze, not returning the hug. Molly didn't take offense. She knew the man was not fond of hugs, but she felt he needed them anyways.

"You are too thin as always. Come, lets get you some food," she gushed.

"I'm fine, Molly," Snape told her.

"But I insist." the matron argued. Snape was about to protest, but a glance from Dumbledore silenced him. When Molly Weasley decided someone needed food, there was no arguing with her. He would just have to pretend to eat food he didn't want.

"I'm glad you could join us," Dumbledore greeted Snape as he sat down at the kitchen table.

Snape glared at the headmaster. "You told me to be here, Headmaster," he informed the older wizard.

"So I did, so I did," Albus affirmed. "No matter, we are pleased to have you here anyways."

"Speak for yourself," Harry and Ron muttered under their breath. Hermione didn't say anything in response, not trusting herself to speak.


	43. Chapter 43

Hermione curled in her favorite chair in the library, a heavy book cuddled in her lap. Her eyes ran back and forth across the yellowed page, rapidly intaking the information. She shifted slightly as her foot started to sleep, but otherwise made few movements.

"I knew I could find you here, Miss Granger," Snape said as he sat down in the seat next to her.

Hermione left her book open and just glared at the older man. "If that is all you wish to say, Professor Snape," she told him.

Snape inhaled nervously. If Hermione noticed his action, she paid no attention to it. "Look, Miss Granger, I wanted to apologize for what I said to you earlier."

"Professor, I know you're sorry. But as you said, the war is too dangerous for me to be involved with you. For what it's worth, I forgive you, but I don't think we should continue to see each other."

"I understand, Miss Granger," Snape replied to her, barely restraining himself from revealing his hurt. He could deal with her anger, her resentment, her scorn, or her hatred. The one one behavior that he could not tolerate was being pitied.


	44. Chapter 44

Thanks so much for all the reviews! I've finally gotten 100, so thanks to everyone who've reviewed. It really motivates me to keep going.

* * *

Her back slammed against a wall in the darkened hallway as a warm body pinned her. She wiggled a little against the figure, but stopped when she heard him growl "Be still."

Once she was still, the man in question leaned his head towards her neck, trailing kisses down her sensitive throat. She tilted her neck to give him a better angle.

Before she knew what happened, the man's lips were on hers, his burning body pushing her into the cold wall.

When she opened her mouth, his tongue took the opportunity to invade hers. She struggled against his invasion, but soon gave up, knowing the wizard would win anyways. The wizard moved his arms down to her her waist and gently lifted her up. Hermione instinctively wrapped her legs around him, squeezing them tight so as not to fall.

The wizard, Severus, Hermione realized, was staring at her. "Who do you belong to?"

"You, Severus," Hermione gasped, her words forced by her lack of breath. A primal feeling descended over her, one she couldn't control. The tension was becoming to much. She was coming undone. Hermione woke with a gasp.

* * *

Damn him, damn him, damn him, Hermione cursed inwardly. She went for days without dreaming of him, and then this happened. The one day she sees the man she started dreaming of him again. But he was disgusted at her crush, which prevented him from being with her even as friends.

It would do her no good to dwell on dreams. Instead, she should focus on the real, on the concrete. Some things, she knew would be constant. Harry and Ron, for instance, were her best friends. Sometimes, she worried that Harry's hero complex would compel him to do something foolish without her and Ron there to save him. Most of the time, however, she knew she could rely on her best friends to be there for her, just as she knew she would be by their sides in the upcoming war. She shivered at the though, of what horrors the war would bring. She didn't want to contemplate them, but she knew some point she would have to confront them. Such was the price she would pay for her involvement, for her actions that her muggle parents couldn't understand, for her own Gryffindor bravery that, at times, she detested.

* * *

Hermione detested the glares people sent her way. Apparently, some people had sided with Marietta Edgecombe. Not that she cared. The girl deserved to have the word SNEAK blazing across her face. The rules for the DA were clearly stated, and she had signed them.

Harry and Ron, at least, sided with her. Even Gryffindor house agreed with her, though Hermione couldn't tell if it was because they just didn't want her upset at them too. The Ravenclaws, however, were mad at her. Each time she roamed the corridors, they would shoot harsh glares at her. Their behavior to her became even worse. The Ravenclaws already disliked her for being the top of the class, a position that usually fell the one of their own. Hermione couldn't help that she was smarter and harder working them them.

The one blessing came from Luna Lovegood. The eccentric, blond haired girl was incapable of feeling scorn. Each time Hermione felt depressed at the criticisms and snide comments directed her way, at least she knew Luna didn't hate her. Yet, her biggest problem was the gaping hole in her life, a hole that should have been filled by a dark, broody, snarky Potions Master.

* * *

Snape collapsed into his bed well after midnight. He wouldn't admit it, but without Hermione's help, his workload brewing potions had picked up. He hadn't realized how much help she really gave him, the time he saved from having to brew easy potions.

Many times he considered begging her forgiveness, yet he couldn't bring himself to so so. He wouldn't apologize for trying to keep her safe. It was a moot point anyways. He wasn't willing to endanger the girl further.

The worst part was that even as months passed since the last time they had spoken one-on-one at Christmas, he still could not get her out of his mind. The girl was just as persistent in his thoughts as she was when showing off her vast amounts of memorized and regurgitated knowledge to her much less intelligent peers.

Student or not, he missed her company. Aside from Dumbledore and Minerva, she was the only one he could talk to. He hadn't realized how alone he had been before, not until he had a taste of friendship. Every night, he would wonder what would have happened if he hadn't pushed her away. How he wished he wasn't alone.


	45. Chapter 45

"I can't stand that woman!" Hermione exclaimed unexpectedly. Harry and Ron looked at each other. They didn't need to ask who she was talking about. It was obviously Umbridge.

"I mean, who does she think she is? She's a fake, stealing Dumbledore's rightful place."

Harry and Ron remained silent. After years as friends, they had wisely learned not to interrupt her in the middle of a rant. A mad Hermione Granger was a dangerous one, and they didn't want to accidentally wind up on the receiving end of her hexes.

Hermione was silent, brooding over an idea. At last, she seemed to come to a conclusion. A sly smile stretched across her lips.

"What is it?" Harry asked. Ron was relieved at not having to ask the question himself.

"So the hag thinks she can interfere and destroy our school? It is our school. We should fight back."

"Are you proposing a prank" Ron asked incredulously. Hermione, rule-abiding Hermione, actually wanted to create mischief for the sake of spite. If it was anyone else, he would not be shocked. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to see her rule breaking, he agreed to help.


	46. Chapter 46

Umbridge screamed in frustration. Everything was black. Her clothes were black, her shoes were black, her desk, quills, pictures, frames, wallpaper, clocks, chairs, rug, etc. were all black. In fact, it would be more appropriate to list the items in her office that weren't black.

None.

Everything was her least favorite color. Yet the most disturbing part was a student managed to step foot into her office. In a rage, Umbridge stepped out of her office, intent to find the culprit with the help of the Inquisitorial Squad. The moment she opened the door and stepped out, a bucket raised above the door tilted. A sticky brown goo poured onto her head.

She tried to vanish the goo, but it refused to leave. The stench was maddening. It smelt like pig poo. The worst part was each time she went anywhere near a mirror, it would come to life and scowl at her, telling her she was a frog. Every time she reached for a bar of soap, it would repel from her hand as it it was the same side of a magnet. The stench and the goo refused to go away. She would kill the troublesome brats.


	47. Chapter 47

"Excuse me, Professor Umbridge, where is room 231?" Luna Lovegood asked.

"There is no room 231," Umbridge replied.

Shortly after, Ginny Weasley asked "Processor, can you tell me where room 231 is?"

"There is no room 231," Umbridge replied confused.

"Where is room 231?" Lavender Brown asked.

"It doesn't exist!" Umbridge exclaimed. What was it with those students? Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Unless... It couldn't be. They wouldn't be holding an illicit meeting.

"Where is room 231?" Colin Creevey asked.

"GET OUT!" Umbridge screamed. She had had enough of that stupid question. She watched the young boy hurry from the room, yet just as he left, she saw a small smile creep onto the corner of him mouth. Something was up. They were toying with her, and she needed to investigate.

The next day, Umbridge gazed at the pale, blond boy before her. "Good job, Draco," she complemented him, yet her voice lacked sincerity. The boy had given her much to think about. Umbridge groaned in frustration. She had to get into room room 231 where that blasted meeting was. In the meantime, she could pass another educational decree, for all the good it would do.


	48. Chapter 48

"Minerva, you will tell me at once where room 231 is," Umbridge demanded.

"Dolores," McGonagall began "There is no room 231."

"You are hiding from me," Umbridge accused. "Let me remind you that I am headmistress and you will tell me."

"For goodness sake, there is no room 231," Minerva said with frustration. "I've taught here for over thirty years. I would know if there was such a room. But there isn't so stop asking," she snapped.

Umbridge smiled sweetly at her. "Whatever you are trying to hide from me, Minerva, I will find out. Whatever secret meeting is occurring there, I will stop it. And you and the rest of your precious brats will take the fall."

Minerva pursed her lips together. If Umbridge was convinced that there was a room 231, which there wasn't, then the woman was welcome to look for it. Granted, she would never find it. As soon as the toad woman was out of the room, McGonagall couldn't refrain from smiling. The students were clever. There was no greater way to annoy Dolores Umbridge then for her to be unable to stop an illicit meeting that didn't even exist.


	49. Chapter 49

Snape silently stalked through the dungeon corridors. As he rounded the corner, he noticed a figure standing just outside his office. Snape snapped, "Fifty points from..." and trailed off, unsure of the student's house as the person was disguised by the dark shadows.

The small figure spun and stepped into the feeble light cast by a torch, but it was enough to identify her. "Gryffindor, Miss Granger," he finished.

Hermione grimaced, but she didn't back away. "Sir, I needed to speak with you." Her voice quavered. Snape tried to discern her tone, yet he couldn't. It wasn't fear, but apprehension, perhaps? Or worry.

"You should not be out after curfew, Miss Granger," he informed her. "You are a prefect, but that does not give you the right to wander the corridors after hours." Hermione didn't even flinch at his cold tone of voice. To his frustration, she didn't react at all. Instead, she faced him, hands on hips and stance firm, telling him she didn't care how many points he took. She wasn't leaving. This wouldn't do. "Get back to your common room, Miss Granger. Don't make me repeat myself."


	50. Chapter 50

"As I said, I'm not leaving until I talk with you," Hermione reiterated, her voice more firm than she felt.

"You will get yourself back to Gryffindor Tower, or else..." It would be so easy to cave and talk to her again, but he could not allow himself that luxury or that closeness, no matter how much his consciousness pleaded with him. "Fifty more points from Gryffindor," he spat, his tone harsh.

Hermione flinched, but she quickly regained her composure. "Fine, then we'll speak here."

Snape observed the glint in her eyes that indicated she wasn't budging. She knew his reasons, why he needed to keep his distance, so that left him with no choice. It was her own doing, he tried to reassure himself. It was necessary. Distasteful, but necessary. Before he could change his resolve, he said, "Miss Granger, if you do not do as you are told this instant I will have you expelled." He made his voice sound serious and commanding.

This, Snape saw, struck a chord in Hermione as threats of point loss didn't. She cared about school more than anything, and at the though of having to leave, she retreated.


	51. Chapter 51

Snape hovered behind the girl, keen eye observing her every action. Hermione inhaled sharply at his closeness, but otherwise gave no indication that she noticed his presence. Ten stirs clockwise, thirteen counterclockwise. She counted to herself, trying not to be distracted by the man's presence behind her. When she finished her last stir, the potion turned a deep blue, the expected color. Snape sneered down at her potion. "Passable, Miss Granger" he muttered. Internally, he kicked himself. They weren't on speaking terms, yet it was all too easy for him to slip back into his old habit of insulting her.

Hermione said nothing, and she refused to acknowledge his presence. Instead, she grabbed a vial and siphoned some of the completed potion inside. Turning, she jabbed the bottle into his hand. A jolt of electricity shot through her as their hands came into contact, but she said nothing. She must crush her feelings for the man. He despised being around her. Without another word, Snape strode rapidly to the front of the room and placed the completed potion on his desk, and resumed prowling the room, making snide remarks at the potions the other students were frantically making.


	52. Chapter 52

"Speak, something's wrong," Harry said to Hermione one night.

Hermione's quill stopped its scribbling as she turned her face towards him. Snapping her book shut, she thought for a moment before she answered hesitantly, "You know how I have feelings for, well, him," she didn't want to risk being overheard confessing her feelings for him. "Suffice to say he's no longer wants to talk to me."

"The git!" Harry snarled. He was about to start ranting, but the saddened look on Hermione's face calmed him down a little. "Did he say why?" he asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"He says it's for my safety," Hermione told him. "But Harry, he overheard me confessing my feelings for him that day. He won't admit to it, but I know that's why he doesn't want to talk to me anymore." Harry looked at his friend sympathetically. He didn't understand her feelings for the man, and he suspected he never would. But she was still his friend, and he wanted her to be happy. If she liked the man, then he wouldn't condemn her for it.

"I'm sorry," he replied.


	53. Chapter 53

"GET OUT, POTTER!" Snape screamed furiously. He barely restrained himself from hexing the boy. The nerve of him! Telling him how to treat Miss Granger! He had clearly crossed the lines, and the boy would pay.

"I won't. She's hurting because of you," Harry spat back. "You bastard, you hurt her and you know it. At least tell me why. Hermione deserves to know."

Snape's face darkened a shade, a clam deadliness descending upon his features. Harry barely managed to keep himself from flinching. Maybe this hadn't been his brightest idea ever. He'd only meant to tell Snape to stop hurting Hermione. He should have expected the anger.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor," Snape said. "Now, GET OUT," he repeated. When Harry still didn't leave, he drew his wand. Harry gulped and slowly backed away from the wand point, never dropping his gaze from the threat. "Now, give me one reason why I shouldn't..." he trailed off, but his threat was evident. Harry looked at him, Gryffindor bravery thoroughly squashed as he turned and fled from the room. He didn't want to die, and he knew Snape was murderous in that foul mood.


	54. Chapter 54

Severus Snape paced furiously in the corridor, shaking out the image he had seen only moments before. How dare the ginger boy hug her! She deserved way better than Weasley, and he couldn't understand why she tolerated the boy's presence. He was a complete dunderhead.

She should have the attention of someone intelligent, someone who could understand her. _You mean yourself_, a snide voice in his head said. _You would have no qualms if she was hugging you instead._ He stopped in his tracks. Once, he had felt that jealously over Lily Evans, but his feelings for Hermione were much stronger. In his youth, the jealousy made him angry, but now it had been a painful hurt that escalated into full blown rage.

Snape grabbed the closest thing to him, an empty glass vase, and hurtled it at the wall. It smashed, shards of glass raining to the floor. "Mine," he gasped out at seeing the damage, red hot rage starting to recede. He had to gain control over his emotions or he would get himself killed. He couldn't afford to have feelings for her; his jealous reaction to Weasley, of all people, made that terrifyingly obvious.


	55. Chapter 55

Hermione needed to think quickly. The she-monster who parades in pink was coming close to discovering the truth. She could not let that hag learn their plans. She felt horror as the vile woman asked Snape for Veritaserum, and prayed he wouldn't give it to her.

She felt relieves when Snape said he had none, but the threats continued. Her friends, didn't know how to get out of the situation. Thinking on the spot, she created a story. She never envisioned being paraded into the Forbidden Forest wandless, but at least she was able to maintain their secret for a bit longer.

Some days, it just didn't pay to be the know-it-all. It was a bad idea, the anticipated fight, but she was, above all else, a Gryffindor. Gryffindors were loyal and brave, and she would help her friends, no matter how futile and stupid the mission seemed.

The worst part of all this was the flying. How she detested heights. While the threstrals were marginally better than brooms, she still disliked the sting of the cold on her face, the whistle of air in her ears as she soared high above the ground.


	56. Chapter 56

Snape's heart rate increased once he exited the pink room. Potter's message left him with no doubt. The heroic Gryffindor fools were going to the Ministry of Magic in an attempt to save someone who didn't need to be saved.

If only his position didn't prevent him from stopping them. He couldn't care less about the others, but he didn't want Hermione to endanger herself on such a pointless, reckless mission. After months of practically ignoring her, he still dreamt about her, still looked forward to seeing her face in class and during meals, the only times he could without arising suspicion.

He feared for her. The moment he was alone in his office, he sent a patronus to Dumbledore explaining what happened. As soon as the silvery mist left his wand, he noticed it wasn't in the shape of a doe anymore. His affections for Lily had long since faded. She was his first love, but a love just as tangible as the past. His present glided from his wand, sleek, graceful, forbidden. Beautiful and unknowingly witty, brave to the point of foolish and stubbornly loyal. An otter stared back at him.


	57. Chapter 57

Voldemort was back. There was no denying it. The Mistry of Magic made a mistake. Snape felt sorrow at the battle, yet he was relieved that Hermione was alive and recovering. He made his way to the headmaster's office as requested, glad Dumbledore was back at Hogwarts.

"You wanted to see me," he stated as he swooped into the room without so much as a knock.

"Indeed I did Severus," Dumbledore replied.

"For what purpose," Severus inquired. He had no information to give the man, which was all Dumbledore seemed to care about. The greater good. Foolish Gryffindor.

"Your patronus is an otter," Dumbledore stated the fact. Snape shrugged in acknowledgement. Dumbledore ignored his lack of confirmation. "So I take it you have gotten over Lily," he said. Snape glared at the headmaster. The meddling fool was right.

"Severus, are you and Miss Granger together?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape was affronted. How could the headmaster think so little of him. "No, we are not. I would never, not with a student."

Dumbledore smile sadly. "Life seems quick, even to a man as old as me. Grasp love while you have it. Do not push her away and make yourself miserable."


	58. Chapter 58

He couldn't have heard the man correctly. Surely Dumbledore was not encouraging he have a relationship with Hermione of all people. Not Hermione, Miss Granger. Damn, he did it again. He called her by her first name in his mind.

Snape sighed and gave up. In the secrecy of his mind, he supposed he could call her by her first name. No one could hear his inappropriate thought. She was Hermione to him, the girl he had, much against his will, fallen in love with.

What was wrong with him? Why was he doomed to fall for people who couldn't love him back? Was it some sort of cruel trick the universe played upon him? Was his life a game? Did whatever fate that was out there decide that he would have to forever be miserable for his past mistakes? Why was he still being held accountable? What purpose would it serve?

Snape stormed down to the dungeons. He deserved the respite from his thoughts, if only he could clear them of the one person he held most dear. He gave up fighting for Lily. He was fighting for her. Why were all his fights doomed to failure?


	59. Chapter 59

"You seem more sullen than normal," McGonagall said.

Snape turned and glared at her as he swallowed a bite of chicken. Turning to her, he said, "I'm not a child, Minerva. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

McGonagall didn't look taken aback by his abrasive reply. She commented with blunt Gryffindor brashness, "I noticed that you seemed, and then something changed. You're more upset than I've ever seen you before, Severus. I'm worried about you."

Snape rolled his eyes. There was no way he could admit to the woman the real cause of his discontentment. She would skin him alive and roast him on a spit over a bonfire if she learned of his inappropriate feelings for a certain student. Hermione was one of her favorite Gryffindor cubs, and she was fiercely protective of her. Snape, as much as he admired the woman's tenacity, didn't want to get on her bad side. Wisely, he chose to remain silent on the issue.

Turning back to his dinner, he attacked the remaining piece of chicken with more a little more force than necessary. _Stupid feelings_, he cursed internally. _Just leave me alone!_


	60. Chapter 60

Hermione stared in boredom at the hospital wing's ceiling. For the amount of time students spent there, she thought they should at least paint it a more cheerful color than plain, medicinal white. If it was colorful, the students would at least have something to look at. She pushed herself up, leaning her back gently against the pillows. A sharp pain stabbed her stomach, and she grimaced slightly. She hadn't realized how many injuries she had sustained at the Ministry of Magic until she was busy trying to heal them.

Leaning back, she closed her eyes as the pain at her movement slowly ebbed away. When it was no more than a steady, gentle throb, she opened her eyes again, letting them fall on the contents of the bedside table. Gingerly, she reached out and grabbed a package. Tearing through the pretty gold wrapping, she unveiled a box of sugar-free candies. She smiled at that. It was a running joke between her and Harry. He would give her sugar-free muggle candies. They both knew she didn't like them. They were too bland, but she smiled at the though of her parents who did like them.


	61. Chapter 61

"That was a stupid thing you did, Miss Granger," an acerbic voice interrupted Hermione's train of thought. She looked up from her book, startled, as the cover slammed shut and it fell to the floor. Snape smirked, and languidly bend down to grab it. Hermione watched with keen eyes, and blushed when he straightened and held the book out to her, his expression telling her he knew she was staring at him. "Following Potter. The boy has no sense. What you were thinking?" This time, his voice lacked the acid from before, yet it was not quite friendly.

"I-um-they needed help. I couldn't let them go by themselves," Hermione explained, though she knew it was feeble. She had decided to accompany them, to put herself in danger, and she had no regrets. She was a Gryffindor, not a Slytherin. If she wanted to be loyal and heroic, well, she was just embracing the characteristics of her house. "Just because you don't behave like that doesn't mean the rest of us don't help our friends. Haven't you figured that out about me by now? I'll always support Harry, no matter how foolish."


	62. Chapter 62

Snape flinched at her abrasive words. She was absolutely correct. Without a word, he spun on his heel, striding quickly from the room when he heard a more feeble voice call out softly, "Wait."

He paused and turned. Hermione was laying on the bed. She was poised, as if to leave and follow him. "I'm sorry I was abrupt. I'm just tired of being cooped up in here. Please don't leave. I really need someone to talk to." Hermione looked at him pleadingly.

Snape couldn't resist her face and her apparent sorrow. He approached more slowly than he had tried to leave and sank into the chair by her bed. Hermione lifted her hand from its position resting atop her stomach and reached for his hand. Snape pulled back for a moment, startled at the contact, before he relinquished. The girl was in enough pain already. If the small gesture comforted her, he wouldn't say anything. Hermione smiled brightly at him, and he noticed a vial on the bedside table. "Drink," he ordered, holding the vial to her lips. Hermione frowned at the foul tasting potion. However, Snape's persistence won and she finally capitulated.


	63. Chapter 63

Hermione's brain became fuzzy and the world blurred. Her eyelids started to drop, and she looked at the man in front of her. He was so confusing, practically saying he never wanted to see her again and then acting so sweet now that she was in the hospital wing. He even went so far as to make her take her potions. She struggled to stay connected to reality, but was rapidly loosing the battle.

Snape watched the girl as she drifted off to sleep as the dreamless sleep potion took hold. Even as she slept, he still kept her hand in his as his thumb rubbed circles along the top. The action was unintentional.

_She's beautiful_, he couldn't help but thinking as he gazed at her prone form. She looked so vulnerable when she was asleep, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and shelter her from the evils in the world. He paused. _Where had that though come from? Since when had he become a total sap?_ Shaking his head to clear it of the strange thoughts, he stood abruptly and left the room, determined to put some distance between them.


	64. Chapter 64

"Are you sure everything is alright, Mione?" Ron asked after the farewell feast.

Hermione glanced up from her book. Looking at Ron, she said, "Yes. Everything is fine." But as she said that, her voice cracked almost imperceptibly.

Harry, too, looked at her. "Something's wrong. Please tell us," Harry said. Even Ron, who was normally oblivious, observed something the difference, so something was very wrong.

"I said it's nothing," Hermione reiterated, but her voice cracked a second time.

"It's him," Harry said, assured his assumption was correct. There was nothing else that caused her to be that depressed, he knew. Hermione didn't need to ask who he was talking about. She knew. And she also knew he was right. That difficult man was the cause of her sadness.

"It's complicated right now," Hermione sighed after a brief pause. "He came to the hospital wing when I was injured, and he was so caring. And he even held my hand as I fell asleep. How is it that he can be so concerned for me sometimes and others be so distant. Harry, why did I fall in love with someone who won't love me back?"


	65. Chapter 65

"Bye," Hermione said as she hugged Harry and Ron at King's Cross Station. She turned and hugged Ginny, Luna and Neville, unable to believe it was already summer and time to say goodbye to her friends for the next few weeks. However, as she looked at her parents, standing nervously at Platform 9 3/4, and she smiled. As much as she would miss her friends, she was glad to spend time with her parents again.

"Hi mum. Hi dad," she said as she hugged each of her parents in turn.

Jean Granger looked down up at her. "You got taller than me this year," she commented, and Hermione smiled. She was growing up, and proud of her new height.

"I can't believe my little girl is growing up," her dad said. "Tell us about Hogwarts," he instructed as he started leading her from King's Cross Station.

Hermione gulped. What could she tell them? She couldn't tell him about the events at the Ministry of Magic, or the legally-backed torture under Umbridge's reign. They would never let her return, and she needed to go back. She described her classes, hoping she wouldn't slip.


	66. Chapter 66

"You go too far, Albus," Snape snarled.

Dumbledore didn't appear fazed at the other man's anger. He picked up a small tin. "Lemon drop?" he asked innocently.

"I don't want a lemon drop," Severus said. "I want a break from students. ALL students."

Dumbledore just smiled. "She'll only be your student for two more years."

"She's a child, Albus," Snape hissed. "I don't like children. Not the snot-nosed first years, and not the overly dramatic seventh years. I don't want to spend the summer with her."

"Miss Granger needs protection, Severus, and you are the best one for the job," Albus said.

"Me! In case you haven't noticed, Albus, I have this," he pulled up his arm and showed the old man his dark mark. "What if he-who-must-not-be-named traced the mark and found her? She wouldn't be safe then. Have the mangy beast babysit her. I have better things to do."

"You're better at dueling." His voice was serious, and Snape couldn't deny the older man. He was better at dueling that Lupin, not that he would voice his agreement with the headmaster.


	67. Chapter 67

"Make no mistake, Granger, I don't want to be here." It was a lie. He lied to Dumbledore, and now to her, but he couldn't tell the truth. He needed to discourage his feelings, and the situation certainly wasn't helping.

"I don't need a babysitter," she said.

"The headmaster feels you do," he countered, more to spite her than anything. In reality, he agreed whole heartedly with her assessment. She was the brightest witch of her age after all.

"My parents don't like seeing magic."

"Good for them," Snape said. Hermione's half-hearted attempt at a smile fell. He felt a twinge of guilt at upsetting her, but he couldn't apologize. His treatment of her was for the best. The more she despised him, the better.

"Please don't use magic here?" she said, though it was more of a question.

Snape considered his answer. He could say no, just to rile her. At that moment they reached the front door. Hermione reached for the doorknob and turned it, the door swinging open to reveal a neatly organized house.

"So it begins," Snape murmured, more to himself than to her as they entered.


	68. Chapter 68

"Mr. Snape," Dr. Granger addressed the other man after helping his daughter inside.

Snape knew the man was suspicious of him. "Dr. Granger," he responded, no trace of emotion in his voice.

"I'll just show you to the guest room, Professor Snape," Hermione interrupted the glaring match, feeling very discomforted at the high tension in the room.

"No. I will." Dr. Granger shot a pointed glare at Snape. Snape resisted flinching as he read the man's expression. He was wary of him. He stealthily entered the man's mind, and what he saw did not surprise him. He withdrew just as unnoticed as he entered. As he followed the other man upstairs, he wondered if he should be affronted by what he had seen. Then again, the man's concern wasn't unfounded. If Dr. Granger was suspicious about something going on between Hermione and himself...well...

He paused his thoughts as Dr. Granger pointed towards the room and gruffly bade him to enter. Snape stepped into the sparsely decorated room, though the colors were too cheerful for his tastes. Green and black he could live with, and maybe even bold Gryffindor red. But yellow was just ghastly.


	69. Chapter 69

Thank you everyone for all the favorites and follows, and especially the reviews. I reached 200 reviews, so here is an extra long chapter.

* * *

"Dinner, Professor Snape," Hermione said softly as she poked her head into the guest room. He looked up from his reading and frowned. He wasn't hungry.

"Mum will be offended if you don't come," she added.

With a sigh of discontent, Snape stood and strode from the room towards the kitchen. Hermione followed at his heels, feeling uncomfortable at the silence.

"So," Jean Granger said at dinner to break the silence, "What subject do you teach, Professor?"

Snape looked up at her. "Potions," he replied bluntly and went back to picking at his food with his fork.

"Oh!" Jean Granger exclaimed. "Hermione talks about your class all the time." Snape didn't reply. He felt there was no need. Jean Granger, however, couldn't stand the silence. "In fact, my Hermione admires you so much. Did you know she wants to get her mastery in Potions after Hogwarts?" Jean Granger announced proudly.

Hermione flushed and studied her plate intensely. "Indeed?" Snape asked the woman with a raised eyebrow.

Before her mother could reply, Hermione said, "Mum," imploring her to stay silent to save her further embarrassment.

Awkward silence stretched on. "So how was your school year, Hermione?" Jean Granger asked once more.

* * *

"A word, Professor Snape," Mark Granger said once dinner was finished. He stood abruptly and gestured for Snape to follow. Immediately knowing what it was about, Snape stood and followed him from the dining room. Mark Granger glared at the taller, intimidating wizard. Although Snape was dangerous, he gave no indication. Instead, he glowered with his arms crossed firmly together as a scowl descended upon his face. "What are your intentions towards my daughter?"

Snape resisted smirking at the predictable question that had been on the man's mind for days. Instead, he looked straight ahead as he replied, "Absolutely nothing, Dr. Granger. I am here merely to ensure your daughter's safety."

Mark Granger was not satisfied with his answer. "Stay away from her," he warned, "or I will kill you, wizard or not."

Snape knew the threat was an empty one. He highly doubted the muggle could actually manage to kill him. However, he appeared to take the threat seriously. "And I assure you, I have no feelings towards Miss Granger other than that of a teacher protecting a student."

* * *

Snape knew he was lying the moment the words escaped his lips. Of course he had feelings for the brilliant and stunning young witch beyond those of a teacher, not that he could tell the girl's father that. As confident as he was in his dueling abilities, he knew the muggle man was completely serious in his threat, and Snape saw no need to cross him when it was not necessary. Instead, he concealed his feelings, knowing the man had him spot on.

"If I sense anything funny between you at all, or if I notice anything amiss, you will leave. I don't care if your supposed to be here to protect her from Lord Whats-His-Name, I will protect her from you."

"Understood," Snape said tonelessly. "If that is all?" From Mark Granger's glare, however, he assumed that was not all.

At that moment, Hermione popped her head into the living room. "Dad, Professor Snape," she greeted them as she walked more fully into the room. The tension in the air lingered, and Hermione shifted from foot to foot, sensing the glares the two men were shooting at each other yet unsure how to react. "Well...um...I..." but each of her attempts at speech were futile, and the stifling atmosphere only intensified further.

* * *

Both of the Grangers were at work as Snape sat reading a Potions journal on the couch. Hermione walked into the room. He looked up briefly in acknowledgement but then resumed reading.

"Look, about what happened during the school year," Hermione began nervously. The journal snapped shut and she felt Snape's gaze upon her. "I know you overheard the conversation, and I just want to apologize. I know it isn't right, and that it probably disgusts you, and I know its wrong but I just can't help how I feel about you." She was rambling and she knew it, but in her nervous state she couldn't phrase her thoughts clearly.

"I don't follow," Snape replied.

Hermione took a deep breath to calm herself. "I just need to clear the air between us. I don't know how you overheard, but..."

"Overheard what, Miss Granger?" Curiosity.

"That I have a crush on you," Hermione said more bravely that she felt. "And I know you must feel awkward and disgusted, but I never meant to let my feelings get in the way of our friendship. I really miss talking to you, Professor Snape, and I just wanted to tell you how I felt."

* * *

Snape stared at the girl in shock. He had expected her to admit to some small misdemeanor during the school year, needing to relieve her guilt when he couldn't take away house points or assign detentions. He was astonished at what she revealed. He recalled the conversation he overheard from months before. Suddenly, Harry and Ron's disgusted, horrified behavior was explained. That's why they reacted as they did. Hermione didn't have a crush on some seventh year Slytherin as he initially though. She had a crush on him!

Snape's heart rate sped up. He couldn't control the thumping in his chest. She had feelings for him too! Then, he felt his high deflate as he remembered why he couldn't openly return her affections. He cared for her, loved her even, but she was his student and she was so young. She deserved better. He couldn't tell her how he felt, and he must discourage further interest in him. It would pain him to do so, especially knowing she returned his affections. But she would be better off with someone closer to her own age. She deserved better than a grumpy, snarky, scared man like him. It was breaking his heart.


	70. Chapter 70

"Mark Granger," Dr. Granger scolded her husband once they were alone in their room for the night. "You really need to stop glaring at the Professor."

"He deserves it," Mark Granger grumbled.

"No he doesn't," Mrs. Granger replied. "He's here to protect Hermione. We should be grateful he's sacrificing his summer to make sure our daughter is safe."

"Safe from those evil, what are they called again?"

"Death Eaters," an exasperated Mrs. Granger sighed.

"Right, Death Eaters. But is she safe from him?"

"What are you getting at?" Mrs. Granger asked suspiciously.

"The way he looks at her."

"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

Mr. Granger looked sheepishly at his wife before answering. "He has feelings for her."

Mrs. Granger looked startled, for a moment, but quickly composed herself. "Mark Granger," she scolded, "how dare you accuse the man of that. He's protecting her, not lusting after her or something. Listen to me, I don't want Hermione chased away from here because you can't behave. We only get to see her for three weeks out of the entire year and I will not have you ruin it with your moping and glaring."


	71. Chapter 71

Snape stood, frozen in the hallway. He listened to the conversation between husband and wife even though he knew he should not have been. They were talking about him. He felt amusement as Mrs. Granger defended him, yet he didn't blame Mr. Granger at all for his suspicions. Essentially, they were correct. He did have feelings for Hermione, even if he could never act on them as Hermione's father seemed to think.

Once their argument died down, Snape resumed his trek down the hallway towards the guest room. He walked into the room and flinched at the painfully cheerful color on the walls. He couldn't wait for the babysitting assignment to be over so he could escape that awful color. Quickly, he removed his clothing and prepared for bed. The summer was already passing slower than anticipated. While he enjoyed seeing Hermione every day, it was also slowly torturing him. With every day that passed, the urge to tell Hermione his feelings became stronger. Soon, he would no longer resist. His position here was rapidly becoming more precarious, and the conversation he overheard only helped accelerate his nervous thoughts. After restless turning and tossing, he fell asleep.


	72. Chapter 72

Dear Diary,

I don't know why I'm writing to you. I haven't done this since I was like ten and ...well, those were not the best of times. I could try to catch you up and tell you all about the last five years, but that would take way too long. I suppose the real reason I'm writing is I just don't know how to deal with my emotions anymore.

Well, let me just say, I have a crush on my potions professor. Yes, you heard me correctly. The only thing is, I told him I have feelings for him. He knows! I'm such an idiot. Our friendship had already crumbled and then I went and talked to him about my feelings. And the thing is, he has every right to be disgusted and angry with me, but somehow he isn't. He doesn't reveal much of any of his thoughts. Its frustrating. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. Its not as if you can give me advice or even talk back, but being able to at least write about this is somewhat comforting, I suppose.

-Hermione


	73. Chapter 73

"Miss Granger," Snape acknowledged as Hermione walked into the kitchen. He didn't even bother to look up as he read his journal.

"Professor Snape," Hermione said with a nod towards him as she rummaged for her breakfast.

She sat down to eat her cold cereal, relieved that her parents were already at work so that breakfast would not be any more awkward than it already was. "Any reason you're staring at me?" she asked as his steely eyes remained fixated upon her face.

"You really should learn to control your hair," he informed her, "a bird might mistake it for a nest."

She glared at him affronted. She had always been criticized for her hair, but he was the one person who should understand how it felt. "Like you're one to talk," she shot back at him. When Hermione thought about what she had just said, she gasped. "I'm sorry, Professor Snape." She barely managed to keep herself from stuttering. "I didn't mean..."

"No offense taken, Miss Granger" he tried to calm her. "I have received far worse insults. One side effect of working with potions all the time is that my hair is greasy."


	74. Chapter 74

"I was wondering if you would be opposed to going shopping today," Hermione said after a long silence stretched between the two occupants of the room. Snape looked up sharply. "I'll take that as a no, then," Hermione muttered. "But, you see, I really need to get more casual clothes. I've outgrown my old wardrobe..."

"What's the real reason?"

Hermione sighed. Snape, she realized, had seen right through her lie. "I just want to get out of the house. Its confined, and I really do need an excuse to get out. I promise you it won't take long, and you can sit and read your journal," Hermione pleaded with him.

"You mean to tell me, Miss Granger, that while I am here, suffering for the mere chance that you should need protection, you want me to alleviate your suffering." Hermione looked away, resolving to keep a blush off of her face.

"It does seem ridiculous when you put it like that."

"Nevertheless, I shall go," Snape answered.

"Really?"

"On one condition."

Hermione felt a sense of dread. "What?" she asked calmly.

A gleam entered Snape's eyes. Hermione regretted her question as he said, "I drive."


	75. Chapter 75

"Are you sure about this, Professor Snape?" Hermione asked nervously as the wizard slid into the drivers seat.

"Perfectly," he replied.

"And have you ever done this before?" Once more, Hermione asked a question she didn't actually want an answer to.

"Yes, Miss Granger." She shot a questioning glance at him, obviously wondering when he had ever had the opportunity to drive before. "My father was a muggle, so I learned how to drive."

Hermione's eyes widened at that bit of information. She had always assumed he was a pureblood because he was a Slytherin and had become a Death Eater early on in his youth. "How long has it been since you've driven?" she asked, just as fearfully as before.

"A while." Hermione cringed. Her fears were not alleviated. "Careful," she screamed as he began backing from the driveway far too fast for her liking. Then, with a sudden swerve, the car reversed directions and shot forward. Hermione clenched her fists, knuckles turning white as the car sped forward.

"Please slow down," she begged. Clearly, her professor, like most other males, had an obsession with driving too fast.

"I won't kill us," Snape answered calmly.


	76. Chapter 76

Snape parked himself on a seat. He opened his potions journal and began to read, though every few seconds his eyes drifted upwards, searching for someone. Once they found what they were looking for, they would look back down just as suddenly and resume reading. To a casual observer, he appeared to be engrossed in his magazine, but Hermione felt his gaze constantly upon her, watching her for any sign of trouble. She tried not to cringe each time he studied her surroundings, and instead collected a variety of dresses from the racks. She hated shopping, but it was better than staying at home. If there was one thing to be grateful for, she reflected, it was that her mother was not there as well. If she was, the day of shopping would be much longer. Hermione eventually selected four dresses to try. As she went to the fitting rooms, she noticed Snape's eyes following her, suspiciously looking at the sales assistant.

Hermione quickly tried on the dresses and selected her favorite. Once she left the fitting room, the sales assistant asked, "You don't want to show that dress to your husband?" with a subtle glance towards Snape.


	77. Chapter 77

Sorry I didn't get this up sooner. For some reason the site wouldn't let me update yesterday.

Hermione felt her face flush bright red at the word husband. From Snape's raised eyebrow, she knew he was just as perturbed by the lady's words as she was.

"What's wrong, dear?" the sales assistant asked Hermione.

"He's not my husband," she responded.

"Sorry, dear, I just assumed..." the sales assistant trailed off. "I'm sure your boyfriend would like to see the dress on you too."

Hermione wasn't sure if she could turn any redder than she was already, but if it was possible, she did. Professor Snape and boyfriend did not fit, but she decided against correcting the sales assistant's blunder. It wasn't worth the risk of further humiliation.

The sales assistant rung up the dress, and as Hermione reached inside her purse to get her money, a hand stopped her. She looked up at Snape questioningly as he drew the amount of cash from somewhere in his robes. Hermione was astonished he even had muggle money.

"You don't have to pay," Hermione protested.

Snape smirked at her. "Of course I need to pay for it" - Snape looked evilly at her - "I'm your boyfriend, after all." Hermione was speechless.


	78. Chapter 78

The entire car ride back was silent. Hermione was mortified, and she had no idea what to say. Snape was equally embarrassed, more by his own actions than anything the muggle woman had told them. He actually called himself her boyfriend, and as much as he knew it was wrong, it felt right saying it. In fact, he wished it was true, but it was a stupid thing to say. The poor girl must be afraid on him, or something, judging by her silence.

Hermione was equally stunned. She was embarrassed at the muggle's blunders, namely assuming Professor Snape was, of all things, her husband. Though, if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she had felt a jolt of excitement flash though her as the lady said husband. The most awkward part was when he had looked at her, evil smirk on his face, and paid for her dress as if he actually was her boyfriend. If she didn't know better, the infuriating man was mocking her. In fact, she was certain he was mocking her affections for him. Hermione desperately wished she had never confronted him about her feelings for him. The mockery stung her deeply.


	79. Chapter 79

The next day, Hermione paced back and forth in her room. She knew she needed to say something to Snape. "You're a Gryffindor," she muttered to herself. Finally, she straightened her shoulders and marched from the room, determined to talk to the man.

"You did't have to mock me," Hermione accused the moment she was in the living room with Snape. Snape stilled, though he didn't even bother looking up from his book. Hermione, incensed, yanked it from his grasp. When he sent a threatening glare at her, she put her hands on her hips and repeated, much more bravely that she felt, "You didn't have to mock me yesterday."

"When did I mock you?" Snape looked at her. If there wasn't confusion written on his face, she would have been further angered.

"For what you said to the sales assistant. Do you really have to mock my feelings for you? I know you are disgusted with them, but that was low."

Snape looked startled at what she said. With a raised eyebrow, he informed her "My intention was not to mock you, Miss Granger." Hermione glared at him, mouth agape as she considered it.


	80. Chapter 80

"I suppose I should apologize to you for yesterday," Snape finally broke the silence. Hermione glared, as if to say her anger was now justified despite his pleas of innocence. "It was completely out of line for me to insinuate anything. My actions were inappropriate and inexcusable."

Hermione stared at him. He felt guilty for what he said, and ashamed at his temporary lack of morals. "Does that mean that, if I wasn't a student, that you wouldn't be opposed to my feelings?" she asked incredulously.

"Miss Granger," he began, and looked uncertainly at her, "this discussion is entirely inappropriate. However, what you said is not far from the truth. If you were older, or I younger and not your teacher, then I would be interested in you." Snape's face flushed. He wasn't supposed to reveal that to her of all people. Hermione looked equally flabbergasted.

"Does that mean you have feelings for me too?" she whispered, almost afraid of the confirmation.

"It's none of your concern," Snape snapped at her. He had come so close to revealing even more to her, and she already knew more than she should. He had to regain control.


	81. Chapter 81

Snape sat in the living room and heard a small scream from the kitchen. Immediately, he leapt up, potions journal discarded and wand in hand, ready to confront the danger. Quickly, he ran towards the kitchen. He hurtled into the room, ready to cast curses at whoever was there. To his surprise, he collided into something firm. It was smaller than him, but the figure he collided with fell downwards, and he was not far behind.

With a thump, the two landed on the floor. Snape looked around, and seeing no threat, he looked at the other person in the room. "Miss Granger," he stated as he looked down at the girl. She looked up at him, innocently biting her lip. "You screamed," he said.

"It was nothing. I just thought I saw something, but really, nothing is wrong," Hermione explained.

Snape arched an eyebrow. He believed her, yet he was annoyed with her yell. Then, to his horror, Hermione started wiggling beneath him. His blood rushed to a certain part of his anatomy. "Stop," he hissed at her, voice strained.

"Why?"

"Use your brain, girl," he snapped. Hermione took a moment to comprehend what he said, and then flushed.


	82. Chapter 82

Hermione stared at the man above her. He hadn't moved, and while it was harder for her to breathe with the weight on her chest, she didn't want him to move. She struggled briefly, but at his words, she stilled, and blushed despite her efforts not to. Yet even as she was mortified, she felt elated. He desired her as much as she him. There was proof of that.

Subconsciously, Hermione licked her lips, and noticed the eyes of the man above her fill with a strange look. _Desire_, she thought.

Then, without warning, he lowered his head downwards. Hermione couldn't breath as he, gently at first, pressed his lips to hers. Then, his kiss became more insistent. Sparks flared at each spot he touched her. Hermione had kissed Ron and Victor before, but it had never felt like this. Not that thrill, the rush of adrenaline and the need to get even closer.

Snape's hands came up to gently cup her face. The feel of his warm hands on her cheeks burned, and in response, Hermione tangled her fingers into his hair to pull him closer.

Neither of them noticed someone standing in the doorway.


	83. Chapter 83

"Ahem." Started, Hermione and Snape pulled away immediately. "What's going on here?" Mrs. Granger's voice was deadly.

Hermione looked away guiltily, and Snape immediately stood up, barely managing to keep himself from looking ashamed at being caught.

"Well..." Mrs. Granger said insistently, tapping her foot against the floor. "I'm waiting," she said as they both remained silent. When it became obvious that neither would answer, she snapped, "Hermione, out."

Hermione reluctantly did as she was told, leaving Mrs. Granger alone with Snape. The moment she was sure Hermione was out of earshot, Mrs. Granger began, "How dare you take advantage of her like that."

Snape, for all his talent at dueling, flinched. The deadly calm in her voice was unnerving, as if she actually had the ability to murder him. "She's sixteen. You're her teacher and old enough to be her father, and you took advantage of her." There was a brief pause. Then, she yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!"

Snape took an involuntary step backwards. He opened his mouth as if to defend himself, but he had nothing to say. Not when he knew she was right. Not when he knew his feelings were distasteful.


	84. Chapter 84

Snape knew he had to say something, to defend himself, even though he knew what he did was inappropriate, as right as it had felt at the time. He began, "I'm sorry."

"Don't," she interrupted him. "Just don't." The furry in her eyes had abated somewhat, and was replaced by a look that was protective, a mother defending her cubs, a look Snape had seen too many times on McGonagall's face whenever she protected her precious Gryffindors.

"It was wrong of me. I apologize," Snape said. His voice was strong and confident despite his inner admonishments. Stupid of him to kiss her. Even more stupid to get caught.

Mrs. Granger looked at him for a moment. "Do you care about her?" she asked, curious. Her mother's intuition told her Hermione had feelings for the man, yet she didn't know how he felt.

"Of course," Snape replied, "I lo...I care about her."

Mrs. Granger's eyebrow rose as he almost said love. She would have though he was lying, except for the calm, seriousness in his voice that told her he wasn't.

"If you break my daughter's heart, I'll kill you."


	85. Chapter 85

Hermione leaned back against the door to her bedroom once she was firmly inside. Now that she was alone, a million thoughts raced through her head. Her, kiss Severus Snape. And she enjoyed it. She smiled as she remembered the feel of his lips on hers, and her hand inadvertently brushed against her mouth. That brought a flush to her face. "Damn it," she swore, "of all the stupid things to do..." At that, she trailed off. He had already all but admitted to her that he liked her too, but a kiss...it was too soon, surely. And what must he think of her enthusiastic response? He was her teacher, for Merlin's sake. He was probably feeling uncomfortable about the entire situation. Forget probably. He was definitely guilty. The horrified and shocked look on his face when they were caught was more than enough evidence to confirm that.

Caught. By her mother, no less. Hermione turned a deeper shade of crimson. She would be grounded for the rest of her life, and maybe in the afterlife too, she was sure. In a few moments, she knew she had broken her mother's trust, and that stung her deeply.


	86. Chapter 86

_"Do you care about her?"_ What a strange question to ask.

Snape leaned against the counter as soon as Mrs. Granger left. That was not what he had expected. In all honesty, from the woman's glare, he though he would die, and the woman's rapid change, from calm deadliness to yelling was unnerving. Even more surprising was her final reaction, her acceptance of his attraction to her daughter.

_"Do you care about her?_" the echo repeated. That was, perhaps, the strangest thing Mrs. Granger had said to him. It wasn't a scolding, but more of, dare he think it, but acceptance of his feelings. No. It couldn't be.

_"Do you care about her?"_

_"Of course...I lo...I care about her."_ Snape flinched. With those few words, he had revealed too much, too much of his emotions, his feelings, his one weakness. His affection for her, his one true friend was apparent. "I lo..." He had almost admitted to someone that he loved her. No, that couldn't do. He couldn't show that weakness. He had amended his statement hurriedly, but Mrs. Granger knew what he was about to say. And strangely, she accepted it.


	87. Chapter 87

"Mum," Hermione said as she entered her parents' room. Her mother looked up, and indicated Hermione should sit next to her.

"About earlier," Hermione started, and trailed off. She had absolutely no idea what to say.

"You like him," her mother said. Hermione nodded, relieved she wouldn't have to say it out loud. "He likes you too, you know."

Hermione was flabbergasted. It seemed as if her mom accepted it. "You aren't mad?" Hermione asked to confirm her suspicions.

"No. I'm not even surprised. I sensed you had feelings for him since the first day of summer even though last summer you hated him."

At that, Hermione blushed as she murmured, "Things change."

"You know, its not unusual to have a crush on one of your professors. I did when I was younger."

Hermione smiled. "It started as a crush, but I'm not quite sure thats an accurate way to describe it anymore." She willed her voice not to be weak.

"Please wait until you're of age," Mrs. Granger told her daughter. "He's so much older than you, and I wouldn't want you to let your inexperience lead you on. Promise me that."


	88. Chapter 88

"What is it, mum?" Hermione asked. Mother and daughter had been talking, though Hermione sensed something was still on her mother's mind.

Mrs. Granger hesitated before responding, "Have you and the professor...er...that is to say, have you...before?" The normally verbose woman was at a loss for words for once.

"We've never kissed before," Hermione responded, immediately sensing what her mother was getting at.

Mrs. Granger breathed a sigh of relief. "And he seems to like you in return. But I meant what I said earlier, please wait until you're of age and graduated from Hogwarts. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I promise," Hermione said to placate her mother. She just needed to distract her for a bit, but Mrs. Granger wasn't fooled. Her daughter's reply had been far too fast. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but said nothing. If she did forbid Hermione from starting a relationship with the man, she knew her daughter would be far more motivated to do so, and that was not what she wanted.

"Will you tell dad?" Hermione asked after a brief silence.

Mrs. Granger looked thoughtfully at her. "Not yet."


	89. Chapter 89

Hermione clenched her sweaty hands together. She paced in her room, summoning her courage. When she decided she could wait no longer, she marched from her room and down the hall. Her fist was raised to knock on the door when it swung open. "Miss Granger?" the occupant of the room asked.

"I want to talk to you." She resisted the urge to stammer.

Snape stepped aside and indicated for her to enter. The moment she was inside, the door closed shut. She looked everywhere but at the other person. She paced nervously.

Snape, sensing she would not speak first, said, "I should apologize for this morning. It was out of line. I understand if you..."

"Don't finish that," Hermione snapped, "I have feelings for you, and I know you have feelings for me. There was nothing wrong..."

"Nothing wrong," he said dangerously. "I am your professor. I'm twenty years your senior and I'm old enough to be your father. Something is wrong. Whatever you say, I took advantage of you. I wouldn't be surprised if you fancy yourself in love with me simply because I like you. You're inexperienced, and know little of love."


	90. Chapter 90

"I never said anything about love," Hermione protested.

"Be quiet," he snapped. Hermione shut her mouth, trying not to look too offended. "As I was saying, you are young, and that never should have happened between us."

"So you regret it, then?" Hermione asked. A single tear welled in her eye at his rejection. It hurt more than she expected it would.

Snape was quiet for a moment. With more gentleness than before, he said "No."

Hermione looked at him sharply. "You don't?" she asked, afraid he would change his mind.

"No. I don't regret it. It shouldn't have happened, but I do care about you."

Hermione gazed at him with determination. She confidently strode forward until they were almost touching. "Then don't protest," she said as she kissed him again.

Snape suddenly froze in shock at her bold action. _Stop it, she's your student_, he thought. Soon, however, his body won over his mind. With a quiet growl, he pulled Hermione closer to him so she was flush up against his body, arms entwining around her to keep her close. Hermione melted into his embrace, incapable of coherent thought. It was happening at last.


	91. Chapter 91

Thanks so much to everyone who reviews, favorites, and follows. You are awesome. Now that I have over 300 reviews, well, here is a really long chapter.

* * *

Hermione felt giddy as they finally broke apart for air. Her eyes met his. His dark eyes seemed to penetrate hers, and she shivered at the intimate gaze. "Severus," she said at last, trying his first name. Snape shuddered slightly at the way she caressed his name, but he didn't protest.

"Hermione," he replied in his silky voice. "I care about you, but this has to wait until you're of age."

"I'm old enough," she protested.

"You're sixteen." Hermione frowned at him. "And besides, you're leaving for headquarters tomorrow anyways."

Her face dropped at that, and Snape felt bad for what he would have to do. This, whatever this was, couldn't continue. It would get them both killed, not to mention his conscience was telling him to end it with her. To end it before it even started, to abandon a girl he had come to care for, love even, the first girl since Lily who made him happy. And it would break his heart to push her away, but that was what he had to do. They could never be more than friends. He inhaled sharply, preparing himself for what he would have to say, and do, to her.

* * *

Snape pushed Hermione away suddenly, and she looked shocked. He had just kissed her, and now he pushed her away. Before she could protest, however, he was already speaking. "You are a mere child," he sneered at her, "this cannot happen."

"Yes, Severus, it can," Hermione argued.

"It is Professor Snape or sir, to you," he said. He didn't want to. He liked the way she said his name. But it had to happen. He couldn't kiss her a third time. He had already crossed far too many lines.

"But I like you and you like me," Hermione said, rehashing their previous conversations.

"Like," Snape forced a frown to his face, even though he didn't want to, "There are many versions of like. It is not my fault you let your foolish, schoolgirl fantasies get the better of you. If you think I had romantic feelings for you, you are very mistaken, Miss Granger."

"But you said."

"I care for you?" he said mockingly. A gleam entered his stare as he looked her up and down. "Yes, I care for your body. Not you. You are annoying and insufferable. What is there to like. No," he leered at her, "all I want is your body."

* * *

"I don't believe you. Don't do this, please don't," Hermione pleaded, though as she continued to speak, doubts were already beginning to fill her mind. Was that it? Was that where the attraction he had seemed to exhibit to her came from? Her body.

"Though, admittedly, it isn't much." That was a lie. Snape knew it. She was beautiful, filled out in all the right places, and what he said was completely false. He liked her, was attracted to her, for whatever reason. But he had to push her away, so he did.

"No," Hermione protested weakly, but her voice wasn't into it. It quavered. Snape sneered again as if to confirm his point as he gazed down at her with superiority. That was what he had to do. If there was any other way, he would. Anything but hurt her. There was no way out, and he hated himself already.

"No," Hermione said as tears welled in her eyes, and with one more glare from the man, the dam broke and they were released, leaving salty streaks of water snaking down her face. But she believed him. He wouldn't lie, not about that. She was naive for loving him.

* * *

"Bye mum. By dad," Hermione told each of her parents as she hugged them tightly.

"We'll miss you so much, Hermione," Mrs. Granger answered.

"I'll write you both soon," Hermione promised.

"You'd better,"Mr. Granger told her as he gave her a second hug. "Now, off with you. And have fun with your friends." His tone was light and cheerful, but deep down, he was saddened. He only got to spend three weeks with his daughter in the entire year, and the time was up already.

Hermione smiled sadly at her parents as she stepped towards Snape. "Have you ever done side-along apparation?" he enquired.

"No," Hermione answered.

"Then this will be disorienting," was Snape's only reply as he grabbed her arm. Before anything else could be said, Hermione felt a squeezing sensation. She shut her eyes, but she still felt nauseated as her feet finally slammed back down onto solid ground.

The moment the landed, Snape released Hermione and abruptly stepped back, waiting for her to vomit. Hermione doubled over in nausea, but as her breathing steadied, she was able to stand straight again. "That was horrible! Is that how it feels every time?"

Snape snickered. "It is."

* * *

Hermione had concealed all her hurt from her parents. It wouldn't do for them to suspect something, especially her mother. Snape, it seemed, was of a similar mindset, but now that they were away, Snape pushed her back quickly, maintaining his distance. As much as she hated him for what he had said, for how he had used her, she didn't want to leave quite yet. Their friendship was already over. All the closeness of the first three weeks of summer would be forgotten. Little did she know that Snape was feeling the same way. All he wanted to do was apologize, to ask for her forgiveness even though he didn't deserve it. Not after what he had said and done to her.

Before she could change her mind, Hermione stepped towards him and hugged him briefly. Snape briefly inhaled the scent of parchment and vanilla that he associated with her. "I'll miss you," Hermione said timidly and stepped back.

Snape stepped back, regretting the loss of warmth and contact. "Don't get into trouble this summer," he said gruffly. Hermione nodded. Slowly, she walked towards Grimmauld Place. As much as he hurt her, she didn't want to leave him behind.


	92. Chapter 92

"I'm glad you're here, Hermione," Ron told her after Snape left. "How unfortunate that you stayed with him for three weeks. I'm surprised you're not dead."

"Don't talk about him like that," Hermione scolded. "He's not that bad."

"Really?" Ron looked at her incredulously.

"It honestly wasn't that bad," Hermione insisted.

Ron looked at her doubtfully. "If you say so."

"So, when is Harry coming?" Hermione asked, needing a respite from the silence.

"Dunno," Ron answered. As usual, he was clueless to what was occurring around him. "You know, I don't understand why he can't stay with my family the entire summer. It would be a lot more fun for him."

"Dumbledore has his reasons, Ron."

"But still..."

"It all comes down to one thing; we trust Dumbledore, or we don't. Dumbledore says Harry should stay with them, and so he does. Just because he doesn't tell us his reasons doesn't mean they don't exist."

Ron looked at her skeptically. "If you say so. But still, those Dursleys are annoying. And I know, because I met them once. Unpleasant people if you ask me."

"Ron," Hermione scolded.


	93. Chapter 93

Hermione trembled in relief up in her room. They couldn't know, not know, not ever. She defended the man, as spiteful as he was, and acted like her normal self. She couldn't let them know what had happened, how she had realized he truly was a git like they had always said. But even as she was hurting, she still believed he was on their side. For whatever reason, Dumbledore trusted him, and strangely, she still did too. They would need his help, and the rational side of her brain told her that she would need to keep defending him, as horrid as he acted. It was logical to stay on his good side, for the war at least. So she would wait, and suppress her feelings for him. She could do that. It was necessary. Logic would help her with that, at least, she hoped it would. If ever she felt sad, she could seek comfort in her books. They would help her forget, forget the pain of rejection and forget him, forget the pain of being used by him, a man she respected and looked up to. She could do this. She could conceal her pain.


	94. Chapter 94

"Harry!" Hermione yelled as she flung herself at her friend and hugged him tightly as he squirmed.

"Gerrof me, Mione," Harry protested as her fierce hug rendered him unable to breath. With a sheepish grin, Hermione stepped back. "You have toothpaste on your mouth," Harry observed.

Hermione blushed and rubbed at a spot on her mouth. "Better?" she asked.

"Much."

"Hey, Harry, Mione," Ron greeted them. The two boys hugged awkwardly and briefly before breaking apart. Hermione rolled her eyes. Boys.

Harry's return signified much excitement, though Hermione found a lot of her time was still spend sitting around reading. Surprisingly, she missed the quiet company of Snape while her parents were at work. Surrounded by the Order, and the Weasley's in particular, the summer was not nearly as restful. As she reflected on the past three weeks, she recalled a few moments in particular. The word boyfriend echoed through her mind. As much as she didn't want to admit it, her feelings for the surly man had grown beyond just a crush. She wasn't yet sure the depth of what she felt, but whatever it was, his rejection hurt, more so than it should have.


	95. Chapter 95

Hermione half-heartedly listened to Harry and Ron talking as she focused her attention on the head table. There was one man in particular she observed. Her keen eye watched him as he picked at his food, mashing it with his fork but not eating more than a few bites. Hermione frowned. The man needed to eat; he was already skinny enough.

Snape turned to talk the Professor McGonagall on his left. Hermione watched in concern at the brief flash of pain on his face at the movement before he quickly composed himself. She frowned. The man needed medical treatment but was too stubborn.

"Did you hear what I said?" Hermione hazily registered a voice.

"Hermione," another voice called.

"What?" Hermione questioned as she turned to look at her two best friends. Harry and Ron exchanged a glance.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked.

"No," Hermione answered, trying not to sound too defensive. Harry and Ron wouldn't understand her concern for the man if she were to voice her observations. "It's nothing."

Ron appeared ready to accept her explanation and move on, but Harry narrowed his eyes. He was the more observant of the two, which wasn't saying much.


	96. Chapter 96

_Meddlesome old man_, Snape cursed inwardly as he paced before the headmaster. Dumbledore gazed at him silently, his piercing, crystal blue eyes trained on his face without blinking. "What were you thinking, Albus? Touching an unknown dark object," Snape fumed. He stopped his pacing and glared at the man. For as smart as Dumbledore sometimes was, he was completely daft others. Really, the man had no business touching objects he knew full well were imbedded with dark magic.

"How long do I have, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, replying to Snape's inquiry with another question.

Snape considered him for a moment. "A few months at most. Dammit Albus, why didn't you come to me sooner? Then I might have been able to stop the curse."

"Remember your promise," Dumbledore replied. Snape collapsed into the chair across from the old man, his expression weary and fatigued.

"When the time comes," Snape affirmed unhappily. He was not pleased with the headmaster's situation.

Dumbledore nodded in approval. "I trust you had an enjoyable summer," Dumbledore abruptly changed the subject. Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously. That change in topic was unexpected, and he didn't want to reveal too much to the headmaster.


	97. Chapter 97

Snape eyed Dumbledore with a hint of distaste. For all the man's good qualities, he often grated upon Snape's nerves. Like now. Snape certainly couldn't let the headmaster know just how much he had enjoyed his summer with... No, he couldn't finish the thought. He couldn't think about her like that, with her beautiful smile and hair that, while messy, cascaded smoothly down her back. He forced himself to stop that train of thought. It was wrong. His feelings for the girl were wrong. Over the summer, he had allowed himself to forget just how much younger she was, why they shouldn't even be friends, but now, sitting across from the headmaster, he remembered why he had to keep his distance. She was his student, and over twenty years younger than him. Not to mention, association with her was dangerous for the both of them. "Nothing spectacular happened," Snape said darkly, keeping his voice neutral so that Dumbledore couldn't find any deeper meaning to his words. "I did as you asked, and now I'm free of the obnoxious girl."

Dumbledore gave his all-knowing smile. Somehow, he sensed Snape's true feelings.


	98. Chapter 98

Snape paced the floor in his private quarters. His head ached, and his torso was constantly in pain, an after effect of the latest round of the Cruciatus Curse he suffered after failing to deliver enough information to Voldemort. Despite the pains, the one thing he couldn't get out of his head was her stare.

He cared about the girl, and he knew she cared about him, but the way she watched him at dinner was disturbing. He was sure she noticed him flinch, if the expression on her face was anything to judge by. What he couldn't figure out was why she felt the need to watch him like some sort of animal rather than talk to him. The girl was infuriating.

As Snape was lost in his contemplations, he heard a knock on the door. He stalked over to the entrance and flung it open, prepared to take points from whatever student decided to annoy him before the first class. "What?" he growled.

"Don't give me that, Severus," Madam Pomfrey replied as she pushed past him into the room.

"Get out," Snape instructed.

The witch ignored him. "I'm not leaving until you are healed."


	99. Chapter 99

Hermione glanced forlornly out the window. The sting of hurt still remained, and each time she approached him, he had fled or given her some pointless task that, as a student, she couldn't refuse to do without loosing points. All she wanted was to talk, so that they could clear the air between them. Or, at least, resume the friendship that had blossomed between them the previous year. At least then she could still be around him.

Hermione slammed her hand against the frozen window, and luckily, it didn't break. The cool glass against her palm did nothing to calm her frustration. She needed answers and she needed to talk to him. Somehow, the weeks they had spent apart over the summer changed things. "Frustrating man, refusing to see me," she muttered softly to herself, then looked around to make sure no one was in earshot. For the time being, at least, no one besides Harry and Ron could know of her feelings. It was too risky, especially how things stood between them. Ginny, Hermione's only close female friend, would have a field day with that particular information. She couldn't allow that secret to get out.


	100. Chapter 100

Snape strode into the room, robes billowing behind him. "Silence," he called. Instantly, the room fell silent. The class watched in anticipation, unsure of how the professor would act as the DADA teacher.

"Who can tell me the difference between ghosts and inferi?" he asked without preamble, cold eyes scanning the room. As expected, Hermione's hand shot into the air. As normal, it was ignored. "Potter," Snape barked.

"Well," Harry began, unsure of the answer. "Ghosts are transparent," he said lamely. The class snickered. Snape, meanwhile, looked outraged.

"Astute observation, Potter. But tell me, if you were to encounter one, what use does that information serve?" Snape's lips curled into a sneer.

"You would know what you were fighting," Harry argued, more to argue than to come up with an actual answer. Hermione looked sharply at him in exasperation at his response.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," Snape snapped. "Now, who can tell me the difference between a ghost and an inferi." He looked around. Hermione's hand waved in the air. "No one?" He asked dangerously, deliberately ignoring Hermione. "Pity. Turn to page fifty-four." No one reached for their books. "What are you waiting for?" he snapped.


	101. Chapter 101

"Mudblood," Draco Malfoy hissed at Hermione. Hermione faced him angrily as she drew her wand.

"Watch out, ferret," she spat back. Malfoy leered at her as he drew his wand. Snape watched the pair from the front of the room, knowing the pairing was a bad idea but forcing them to be partners anyways.

Silently, Hermione sent a non-verbal spell at Malfoy. His wand hung loosely from his hand, signaling his unpreparedness for her attack, and he doubled over in pain as the stinging hex hit his stomach. Snape, upon seeing the attack, hastened over to the pair.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention for attacking a student," he addressed Hermione. Malfoy smirked, while Hermione looked indignant.

"But, sir, that's not fair. You told us to fight each other," she protested fiercely.

The moment she contradicted him, Snape's eyes hardened. Hermione cringed. She was in for it. "Miss Granger," he said dangerously.

At that moment, Harry interrupted. "Sir, what Hermione said was true. You told us to practice, so she did. Its not her fault Malfoy didn't protect himself." Harry regretted the words the moment he said them, but he needed to defend his friend.


	102. Chapter 102

"Unable to fight your own battles," Snape drawled. He saw a flash of anger in Hermione's eyes. He was baiting her, but he couldn't stop. Not with all the Slytherins watching who would, undoubtedly, tell their parents of the entire fiasco. He could not afford to go easy on the Gryffindor.

"I'm not a coward," Hermione replied. She didn't directly state it, but it was obvious from the venom in her voice that she was referring to him. Shocked whispers ran around the room.

"Coward, am I, Miss Granger?" Snape asked. Hermione visibly paled. She looked into his eyes, begging for his forgiveness and knowing already she would not receive it. No one spoke to Snape that way.

"I...I..." she stuttered, her normal eloquent speech escaping her.

"How brave of you. I...I...I shutter to t-t-think h-h-h-how terrifying your enemies must find you." He was deliberately mocking her. Hermione bit back her angry retort, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall. She inhaled deeply, as if to steady herself, but it didn't work. She could feel the pressure building behind her eyes, unable to stop it.


	103. Chapter 103

_Mudblood_. The word echoed through his mind. _Coward_. He picked up the bottle in front of him and took a large swig and a fiery sensation flooded his body. It burned, but it was better than having to think about what he had done. "You fool," he muttered, "That was stupid of you. Congratulations, Severus, if you wanted her to hate you more than she already does, you were successful."

He downed the rest of the firewhisky, and threw the empty bottle against the wall, watching the shards of glass cascade to the floor. How could he have done that to her? She didn't deserve it. He was way out of line, and he knew it. "I just called a bloody Gryffindor a coward. She'll never forgive me. And I don't deserve her forgiveness anyways. You idiot, how could you do that?" His thoughts flashed back to Lily, how she had never forgiven him. Why couldn't he be nice to the only people he cared about? Why did his subsconscious always act against him and drive them away. He summoned another bottle of firewhisky from the cabinet. Fixing the problem was hopeless, but at least he could forget.


	104. Chapter 104

Miss Granger,

Your behavior in class today was unacceptable, as was mine. I am truly sorry, for both my actions towards you during the summer and this year. I regret my behavior, and the only explanation I can offer you is that if the Dark Lord learns of our growing attachment to each other, you would have been in a dangerous position. It was for your well being that I said what I did, and I'm sorry.

Although I was in the wrong, I cannot take back your detention. I will be tonight at exactly 5:00. Eat something before, for you will be working through dinner.

There is another topic I feel I must discuss with you that cannot wait. My additional duties this year are time intensive, and I will be unable to brew all the potions for the hospital wing. I would greatly appreciate your help, though I do not deserve it. I do not expect an answer from you immediately, but if you are amenable to this suggestion, then I would like you to report to my lab at the normal time every evening. I hope you are not too inconvenienced.

Yours truly,

-SS


	105. Chapter 105

Hermione clutched the parchment in her hand, not knowing what to think of it. When the owl first arrived with the letter, she hadn't thought anything of it. Until the owl insistently pushed into her hand and she looked to see who the letter was from. Although she was mad with the man for his callous behavior in class, she admitted that it was warranted. But she didn't know what to think of his apology. Was it true? Did he really regret his behavior? As she reflected on his words, she admitted that his reasoning was sound. If Voldemort ever did hear of their friendship, she would be in danger. Even if she understood his reasoning, that didn't mean she would forgive him.

And surely he was not wanting to brew with her again. His apparent distaste for the issue was obvious from the previous year. She wondered at his motivation for wanting to resume their brewing sessions. That was proof that it wasn't really him writing the letter, but it was his handwriting. Hermione glanced down at the crumpled parchment. The man was an anomaly, and most of the time, she couldn't predict him.


	106. Chapter 106

Hermione's footsteps echoed gently through the dark, damp corridors. She squared her shoulders, determined not to look nervous despite her loud, thudding heart beat. At last, her feet slowed to a stop and her fist raised, ready to knock on the wooden door. Before she could summon her courage, the door swung open. "Enter, Miss Granger," Snape said from somewhere within.

The witch stepped just inside the door, jumping slightly as the door unexpectedly slammed shut behind her. She looked up into the eyes of the DADA professor. "Sir?" she questioned.

"Come here," Snape instructed. Hermione walked forward, refusing to let her emotions show. She wasn't afraid of him, exactly, but she was nervous. She had never had detention with him before, but she had heard many horror stories from her classmates. "Sit," Snape instructed as he indicated to the chair in front of his desk.

Hermione did as said. She squirmed in the wooden chair, trying to get comfortable. Snape resisted smirking. No matter how much the girl fidgeted, she would never get comfortable. He had purposefully put the most uncomfortable chair he could find in front of his desk to discourage students from speaking to him.


	107. Chapter 107

"Miss Granger, why are you here?" Snape asked. Hermione looked up startled. She hadn't expected a benign friendliness.

"Detention, sir?" It was a question more of an answer. "I suppose I'll scrub cauldrons," she said as she stood and started walking to the back corner where all the dirty cauldrons stood.

"Stop. You won't be scrubbing cauldrons for detention."

"Sir?"

"In truth, I wanted to talk to you," Snape said, trying to keep the nervous tremor out of his voice.

"I don't understand," Hermione replied.

"Miss Granger," Snape began, "as I mentioned in my letter, I am sorry for everything I have said and done to hurt you." Hermione was shocked. To hear the stubborn man actually apologizing, and in a tone devoid of sarcasm or scathing criticism, she almost believed was impossible. "I did this in an attempt to protect you."

"Why are you telling me all this now?" Hermione asked cooly.

Snape glanced down as he gathered his answer. "Because, no matter what you might think, I care for you, and I..." he trailed off. He didn't know how to finish.

"And you what?" Hermione prodded as Snape squirmed nervously in his seat.


	108. Chapter 108

I finally got over 400 reviews, so here is another long chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who has favorited, followed, and reviewed.

* * *

Internally, Snape was panicking. He wanted, needed to tell her how he felt, but he didn't know how. What he said now would determine his chance to earn forgiveness, and he didn't want to screw it up. And he couldn't lie to her any more, regardless that his Slytherin instincts were screaming at him to lie. No, if he wanted her forgiveness, he would have to tell her exactly how he felt.

"I'm not quite sure how to explain it to you," Snape said nervously.

"Just try." This time, Hermione's voice had less of a bite.

"It hurts each time I see you upset because of what I said. Lily was the only friend I ever had, and I'm afraid I'll loose you just like I lost her." There. He sighed in relief. It was not the most eloquent of speeches, but it conveyed what he felt.

Hermione considered his words. "You hurt me too much to forgive you for it."

Snape nodded in acceptance. He had already anticipated that. "I understand. I don't expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't forgive me. I just wanted you to know that I regret all the negative things I've said to you."

* * *

"Hurry up, Miss Granger," Snape snapped. Hermione glared at him.

"You're not the one carrying grindylows," she retorted.

To her surprise, Snape started chuckling. At her dumbfounded expression, Snape stopped, but the damage was done. Hermione stared, mouth agape at the strange sight. The man never laughed. "It's not funny," she snapped at him.

His gaze met hers. "It is funny, Miss Granger," he told the girl. She looked skeptically at him. "You should have seen your face," he said with amusement. When she just stared at him, he added "Hurry up," as he strode away.

With a huff of frustration, Hermione clutched the basket tighter in her hand and ran to catch up with him. His strides were longer than hers, so even when she caught up she had to almost jog in order to keep up with him.

"Slow down, would you," Hermione told him.

"Excuse me." Snape's tone was dangerous.

"I...I'm sorry, Professor Snape," Hermione stammered, immediately realizing her faux pas. "I'll just, um, run to keep up or something," she added, unable to keep quiet. Internally, she cursed herself. She was supposed to be angry with him. She wasn't supposed to be friendly to him.

* * *

When they returned back to the dungeons, Hermione sensed a change in the air. In one afternoon, the tense atmosphere was almost gone. It felt almost normal following him to the lake to collect ingredients, even if it was for detention. That was, if anything about that particular man could be called normal. And he had relaxed around her, had laughed even. Since his back was turned away from her, she allowed herself to smile lightly. He looked younger and less stressed when he smiled. And he had allowed her to see his smile. Over the years she had heard many stories of him, and not once was he happy. At some level, she knew he must accept her and even liked her, but that couldn't erase the hurt he had caused. As she watched him put the newly harvested ingredients away, she resolved she would try to keep her distance, though if he acted that friendly to her all the time, she didn't know how she could keep up her resole. And with their additional brewing sessions, it seemed even more difficult to remain distant. Somehow she would manage.

* * *

"Blimey," Ron muttered after Harry finished his story. "Weird," he said.

Hermione, however, contemplated the story. "I've never heard of a horcrux before."

"There's something you don't know?" Harry asked her, almost jokingly. "That's a first."

"Shut up," she muttered at him. Then, she stood and grabbed her bookbag. "I'm going to the..."

"Library," Harry and Ron chorused in unison. They were both slightly surprised she hadn't tried to leave for the library sooner. Whenever Hermione didn't know about something, her solution was always to go to the library.

Hermione waved to them as she hurried out the portrait hall and down the corridors. Days later, however, Hermione still had no luck. Not a single book in the library made mention of a horcrux, and the one book she found on the topic was in the restricted section, and said nothing more than it was an extremely dark form of magic. That, she had already gathered from the lack of information available on the subject.

With a sigh, she stood up, resigned that her search for the night was over. Her heavy footsteps thudded through the corridor as she returned to the common room, once more with nothing to tell.

* * *

No matter how much she searched, she couldn't find any information on horcruxes, and Harry was unsuccessful at coaxing the answer out of Slughorn. There was one person who would know the answer...well, one, but she couldn't ask him. Period. She couldn't. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of talking to him. He hurt her too much for that.

But as time passed, it became obvious that the question needed to be answered if Harry would ever have a chance at defeating Voldemort. With each day that passed, her reasons for not asking him dwindled. Harry and Ron were incapable of researching anything, which left her. And what was the worst that could happen? She needed the information, and with the rising threats in the muggle and wizarding world, she didn't have much time. Squaring her shoulders, she stood and gathered her book bag. Apprehension overcame her as she slowly walked towards the dungeons, but she had to do it. There was no alternative. She was desperate for answers, and running out of time. Like it or not, he could give them to her, but she would have to approach the topic carefully. If he though she was just fishing for information, he would never say anything that was useful.

* * *

Hermione relaxed back against the chair, but straightened in her seat soon after. It was too uncomfortable to slouch in. "Have you ever considered getting a more comfortable chair?" she questioned.

Snape looked back at her. "In case you haven't noticed, Miss Granger, I don't like company. The chair is uncomfortable so that people will not feel the need to linger."

"Fine," Hermione huffed as she stood. Then, daringly, she walked around the other side of the desk and hopped up. Her legs swung freely, and she glared at the man as if daring him to comment.

"Care to explain?" he asked carefully.

"It's more comfortable," Hermione responded. She waited for his response a bit nervously. Either he would be amused or mad at her. She hoped it wasn't the later. Instead of saying anything, Snape merely ignored the change.

"Tell me, have you read Alecto Carroway's essay on the use of nonverbal spells in potions making?" he asked instead.

Hermione smiled. She had read the essay, and was all too eager to discuss her thoughts on it with the only person capable of doing so, except for, perhaps, Dumbledore.

"I did read it. I found it interesting," she began.

* * *

Snape looked at Hermione calmly. She appeared normal, yet he could sense something was bothering her, more than just her revulsion for him. For the first hour, he pretended not to notice something was wrong, but as time wore on, he was unable to contain his curiosity. "What's bothering you?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Oh..." Hermione looked up, startled. "It's nothing, really," she tried to avoid the question.

"Don't lie to me. Something's bothering you. I can tell," Snape informed her.

Hermione sighed but acquiesced. "Fine. You know that Harry has been secretly meeting Dumbledore." Snape nodded, but said nothing. "Well, Dumbledore thinks that Vol..."

"Don't say the name," Snape hissed. Then, he gestured down to his arm.

"Right. You-know-who didn't die because he made horcruxes."

"Are you serious?" Snape interrupted her. Hermione studied his expression. It had rapidly changed from worried to horrified, and fearful. She cringed. If he was upset, then horcruxes must be worse than she thought.

"Yes. The diary that controlled Ginny was one of the horcruxes."

"One of the horcruxes. There are more than one," Snape stated, his complexion visibly paler. Hermione felt a surge of fear at seeing Snape's apprehension.

* * *

"What do you know about horcruxes?" Hermione asked Snape.

Immediately, Snape's complexion visibly paled. Hermione felt a surge of fear at seeing his reaction. They were worse than she had envisioned, most likely.

"This is a conversation that shouldn't occur here," Snape said.

"But sir, I want to know exactly what they are, especially since there isn't any information on them in the library."

"I merely meant that this conversation should not occur in an unsecured location like here. If you would follow me," he said as he stood. Curiously, Hermione followed him, though she was a bit apprehensive about the conversation if they needed to be in a more secure location.

A chill hung in the damp air, and she shivered. She soon became lost from the maze of turns where he was leading her.

Outside of a space of blank wall, Snape stopped. "La vie est enfer," he murmured quietly. Just as he said that, the expanse of wall disappeared. Snape entered, and Hermione followed. She looked around in surprise. The room he led her into was tasteful and not full of green. The best part of the room, however, was the huge bookshelf crammed full of books.

* * *

Hermione realized exactly where they were. She said nothing as the entryway rematerialized, and she felt the buzz of magic as strong wards were erected around the room. Nothing could interrupt them here, she realized. Hermione tried to appear calm as she made her way to the couch, though internally her heart was thudding loudly. She was in his personal chambers, and she was trapped.

She said rigidly in the seat, back straight and barely on the couch so she could jump away from him at a moments notice. Nothing but desperation for answers would have ever brought her there.

Snape recognized her discomfort. "I trust you will not tell anyone where I live," he told her even though she had no reason to keep his secret.

Hermione nodded. She knew he would kill her if she let other students knew where he lived. He already despised her. Instead, she replied, "As if I could find my way here again." Snape smirked at that. "Life is hell?" she questioned him.

"You figured out my password," he stated simply. "The statement is true."

"I took French at the muggle school I went to," Hermione said by way of explanation.

* * *

Snape's heart beat wildly. Inviting her to his personal rooms was out of line. He knew it, but he still couldn't control the rapid beating of his heart as he watched her observe his rooms, and he gently smiled at her obvious admiration of his book collection.

When she sat at his couch, his breath caught. Despite her rigid posture, she looked like she belonged there. He realized, with a jolt of shock, that he didn't mind her presence in his private space, a space he detested anyone else entering. Yet it felt right having her there. He wondered at how right it would feel if she would stay the night with him.

_Slow down. She's your student!_ his panicked mind screamed at him. He loved her, yes, but she was so young, innocent. Not to mention, after being a bastard to her, she hated him.

"Miss Granger," he started, unsure how to finish.

"Just tell me about the horcruxes," Hermione muttered cooly, looking in distaste at him. That was the reason she was even talking to him, and she would get her information, regardless of what else he wanted to say. This wasn't a step to forgiveness.

* * *

Her question on horcruxes caught him off guard. "Her..." he began, and immediately cut himself off. He couldn't call her by her first name. Miss Granger, while formal and appropriate, didn't feel exactly right anymore. He had long since started calling her Hermione in his head, and he wanted to call her that aloud. But he couldn't. He crossed the invisible line between them, and ruined his chances of that privilege, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to earn her forgiveness. She wouldn't be another Lily. "Damn it all," he swore softly, hoping it was quiet enough Hermione couldn't hear.

"What did you say?" Hermione looked up at him with a questioning glance.

He froze as he rapidly tried to think of what to do. For a spy with his experience, it should have been easy to come up with some small lie, but with her so close, he was distracted. After a long pause, he replied, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Hermione frowned, no seeing through his lie, but she decided to ignore it. She was already playing with fire. One mistake and her plan would backfire, and she would not get the information. She couldn't allow that to happen.


	109. Chapter 109

"Enter," Snape called upon hearing a confident knock on the door. Either it was a teacher or Hermione. No one else would knock that insistently. It was the later who entered.

"Miss Granger," he said.

"Professor Snape," she replied, "what do you want me to brew?"

"Dreamless sleep potion," Snape answered as he rose and led her towards his private labs, even though she still remembered the way.

"Of course, sir." Hermione was curious. Dreamless sleep potion wasn't something the Hospital Wing normally gave out, so she wondered why she needed to brew it. "Why this potion?" she asked once she could no longer contain her curiosity.

"It's none of your concern," Snape snapped.

"It is if I'm brewing," she countered.

Snape glared at her, knowing full well she wouldn't notice his expression because she was too intent on watching the cauldron. "Hardly," he replied.

"You're brewing it for yourself." Snape was shocked. She was right. Though, if one student were to figure out his weakness, it would be Hermione Granger. And that was why his feelings for her were dangerous. She knew to much about him. If the Dark Lord found out...he shuddered.


	110. Chapter 110

Hermione ran her hand along Snape's hair. It was as greasy as it looked, but she didn't mind. It was part of him. He wouldn't look right with perfect hair. It's greaseyness was a result of his constant work with potions.

As she brushed a stray strand behind his cheek, Snape slowly blinked his eyes open. He looked first at her, curiously, then at the all-too-familiar surroundings. The arched ceiling of the Hospital Wing was a familiar sight to him. "How bad?" he asked her, not sure he wanted to know the answers. The last meeting he went to had been particularly rough. The Dark Lord wasn't satisfied with his information, demanding even more, and when he said he knew nothing else, the Cruciatus Curse was cast on him.

"Don't worry about it right now. Madam Pomfrey can explain better than I can anyways." Hermione smiled down at him, and Snape felt his heart lurch in his chest. Although she hadn't forgiven him, he was grateful she was there. With her by his side, she could cheer him up and distract him from the pain, and that was all he needed.


	111. Chapter 111

A figure concealed in an alcove shot a spell at a bushy-haired girl in the hallways. Hermione felt the sting of the spell and whirled around just in time to see Malfoy reveal himself. With a smirk, he approached her. "Mudblood," he said in greeting. Hermione frowned, but the over the years, the insult bothered her less. It hurt, but it no longer made her cry.

"What did you do, ferret?" she hissed.

"Nothing," he replied. Hermione stared at him suspiciously. She felt magic, and he was the cause. She looked down at herself, but could find nothing wrong. Nothing hurt, and there was no odd discoloration. She still didn't believe his innocence.

Hermione glared at Malfoy, and he met her gaze with his cruel, icy grey eyes. There was undisguised mirth in them, and whatever he did, she knew it was bad. Unable to identify the spell, there was nothing she could do. Eyes narrowed, she brushed past him. If she didn't leave soon, she would be late to DADA, and Snape's wrath was one thing she didn't want to face, even if he was making a pointed effort to be nicer to her.


	112. Chapter 112

"Explain yourself, Miss Granger," Snape called out as class started.

Hermione looked back at him, confused, and meeting his gaze, she inquired "Sir?"

Snape's eyes narrowed. Bad sign, yet she didn't know what was wrong. "Miss Granger, enlighten me on what the dress code is here." His tone was serious, and mad, yet Hermione had no idea where the question had come from.

"Sir?" she questioned.

Snape raised an eyebrow as he stalked closer to her. He stood directly in front of her. Hermione could smell his familiar scent, but for once, it was not comforting. It was intimidating. He was furious, but there was something else there disguised in the shadows of his depthless eyes. It was a look she didn't recognize. Anger, maybe, but why? Why would he be angry again? Surely, nothing had changed.

Summoning courage she didn't feel, Hermione looked defiantly back at him. "I don't see the relevance of this," she stated simply, because it was true. She had no idea why he was asking her about the dress code. It wasn't hard to follow, after all. Wear school robes to classes. End of story. What else was there?


	113. Chapter 113

Snape felt his breath catch the moment Hermione walked in the room. She was beautiful, and the exposed skin in certain areas immediately drew his attention.

He approached her, trying to look as menacing as possible. His breath hitched as she gazed defiantly at him, and her proximity didn't help. From his new vantage point, when he looked down at her, he could see down the exposed swell of her breasts. Hermione was completely oblivious. Whatever the reason for her current state of attire, she was unaware. Finally, he said, "Twenty points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for your inappropriate attire."

"Sir?" she questioned. Snape growled. Her cluelessness was annoying.

"Miss Granger, your skirt and shirt are too low cut," he said.

Hermione looked down, and immediately blushed as her face appeared horrified. "Professor Snape, I didn't know. It was Malfoy," she explained with what little breath she could muster. Snape felt infuriated at his godson, but there was nothing he could do. If the class wasn't watching, he would have wrapped her in his robes to preserve her modesty, but he couldn't act like that now. Not with an audience.

"Get out of my classroom, Granger."


	114. Chapter 114

Hermione hesitantly walked into the room. "Miss Granger," Snape said in an expressionless voice. Hermione stilled. He was mad at her.

"Professor," she replied, though her voice cracked from the nerves, "I want to apologize for today. I can offer no explanation other than Malfoy cursed me, but I didn't know what he did so I had no idea how to fix it." She was blabbering more than she should, yet her mouth refused to stop.

"I am very sorry for what I said to you. I had to be harsh given the audience. I couldn't risk having any of the kids running to their parents with tales that I was being nice to you." He paused for a moment. Hermione looked at him as comprehension dawned on her face.

"Oh," Hermione breathed out. "I...I understand. I forgive you." She didn't know what made her say that, she had come intent an apologizing and no more. Now, she was stunned. His behavior made complete sense. If word got back to Voldemort via the students, he would be punished, and she was scared to think how close he could come to death should their friendship be revealed.


	115. Chapter 115

Harry's eyes narrowed in concentration as he revealed the contents of the latest memory to Ron and Hermione. He struggled to recall every detail, and by the end, Hermione was biting her lower lip in contemplation. "So that's how he learned about the Horcruxes. And they must be destroyed."

"Blimey, Harry, and he said you could go with him for the next time he found one," Ron said. Harry nodded, and Hermione thought he looked too happy at the thought. Horcrux hunting was dangerous, and Harry, as always, was going to run headlong into danger in an attempt to help and suffer the consequences later. However, she didn't disagree with him. It needed to be done.

Harry, not knowing what else to say on the topic, switched strategies, "So, what about you and Snape?" he enquired.

Ron faked vomiting as Hermione automatically corrected, "It's Professor Snape." Then, her expression turned sour. "And I don't know what to think of him anymore. One second he's spiteful and the next he's apologizing. I don't know what to make of it anymore," she said. Harry and Ron recoiled and looked at each other in shock.


	116. Chapter 116

"Give me that!" Hermione yelled as she lunged at Snape. In his hand, he held her precious copy of _Hogwarts a History_. Brandishing it in front of her face, he stepped aside as Hermione hurtled past him. She spun to face him again, face alight with anger.

"Come get it," he mocked her. Hermione dashed to him, but his reflexes were too quick, and he remained untouched. Mirth lit his eyes as he watched her, face flushed with frustration. _S__he's gorgeous when she's angry, _he thought. Out loud, he told her, "I'll give it back on one condition."

"What?" Hermione spat.

_Hell hath no fury like bookworm scorned_, Snape thought amused. Only Hermione would react so to having a book taken away. "Come closer," he told her sincerely.

Hermione obeyed wearily. Snape, meanwhile, relaxed his hold on the book. Just as he was about to say something, Hermione lunged towards him again. This time, his reflexes were too slow and with a resounding thump, she crashed into him. Before he could react, she plucked the book from his arms and retreated just as rapidly as she had come. Triumphantly, she hugged the book in her arms.


	117. Chapter 117

Severus Snape didn't loose. He eyed the girl. She hadn't won yet. He moved towards her. With a shriek, Hermione lunged away, but Snape's longer strides allowed him to move faster. Soon, he caught her around the waist. Hermione tumbled sideways, luckily falling onto the couch. Snape stood over her and grabbed at the book. Hermione, pulled it tighter into her arms like a viper gripping its prey. Her knuckles were white but she didn't let go, and Snape acknowledged he could not forcefully pry it from her grasp.

Switching tactics, he moved his fingers to her sides. She watched him cautiously, and then her face transformed as laughter bubbled onto her face. She glared at him as he tickled her, and she dropped the book to pry his fingers away. Snape briefly glanced at the book, considering grabbing it, but decided instead that she was more enticing, especially as she laughed uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. Hermione tried to bat his hands away, but he was determined. With a slight growl, he climbed on top of her to control her squirming so she could not escape his merciless fingers. The floo flared to life.


	118. Chapter 118

"Severus, Hermione," Dumbledore greeted the the two. Snape immediately realized the impropriety of the situation. He immediately backed away as Hermione recovered. "I wanted to speak to you, but if you are too busy..."

"It is fine, Albus," Snape told him. Better to get the conversation over with. His time with Hermione had already been ruined.

"I'll just be going," Hermione said, sensing the ensuing conversation was private.

"You wanted to see me?" Snape asked.

"Yes, Severus, sit down." Snape did as he was told, though his back remained stiff as he sat on the edge of his chair. "The curse is worsening. I fear it must be done sooner rather than later."

Snape's gaze was unflinching. "I am aware. But, Albus, I do not want to do this."

"I know, Severus, I know." But he didn't. Albus couldn't possibly understand what he was asking of his spy. What he was asking, it would only destroy Snape's already darkened soul. "Your vow," Albus reminded the man.

"I know." Snape knew argument was futile.

"And what about you and Miss Granger?" The meddling headmaster was far too perceptive, though Snape was relieved he wasn't disapproving.


	119. Chapter 119

"We're going to be collecting ingredients from the forbidden forest instead of brewing tonight," Snape informed Hermione. Hermione looked up at him, startled. Snape observed her, seeing hesitancy and uncertainty there. "The forest is dangerous at night, as you well know, but I can protect you."

Hermione felt a blush threaten to spread through her face as he said that. In order to distract herself, she asked "What ingredients will be be collecting, sir?"

"Mistletoe," was his only reply.

"Mistletoe!?" Hermione exclaimed in confusion. She had never heard of any potion calling for mistletoe before, and besides, it didn't seem like something the potions professor would be interested in collecting.

"Wizarding mistletoe, Miss Granger," Snape said. His tone was abrupt, but Hermione also detected exasperation and a hint of amusement.

"What is that?" Even with all her reading, Hermione had never heard of wizarding mistletoe before.

"You are aware of the muggle perception of mistletoe." Hermione nodded her head. "Wizarding mistletoe takes that a step further."

"Professor?" Hermione asked, uncomprehendingly.

"If anyone steps under wizarding mistletoe, they will be unable to move from the spot until they are kissed, and Dumbledore wants it for decorating the Great Hall."


	120. Chapter 120

I know I haven't updated in a few days. Life got really busy. I hope the extra drabbles make up for it.

* * *

"Can we harvest it without being trapped underneath?" Hermione asked. Snape resisted the urge to joke with her. It would be so easy, to respond to that comment and see how bright red he could make her flush. But now was not the time. He was her teacher, so he couldn't. No matter how much his heart seemed to tell him otherwise.

"That is why you are accompanying me, Miss Granger."

Hermione blushed and looked down, unable to meet his stare. Emotions ran rampant through her head. She was nervous about the detention, more so than before, but she now felt a sense of anticipation too. What if one of them got trapped under the mistletoe? Truth be told, she wanted to kiss him again, even though she was supposed to still be mad at him. And what about after? It would be awkward just like last time, she was sure. She didn't want him to explode at her like last time. Suddenly, his reason for her accompanying him became clearer. The Slytherin was plotting something. She had feelings for him, and he for her, so this was more that just a casual detention.

* * *

Hermione followed Snape through the castle. Soon, they were out on the grounds and heading towards the Forbidden Forest. Hermione huffed as she struggled to keep up with his long strides.

"Is wizarding mistletoe used in any potions?" she asked him in between pants.

"In a few healing potions, but that is is all," Snape replied, his voice annoyingly unhindered from their fast pace.

"Fine. Be cryptic. I'll just tell Harry and Ron that I spent all this time snogging you senseless."

"Granger!" Crap, she was in trouble. His usage of just her last name was evidence of that. She hadn't meant to say that. The words just slipped from her mouth.

"Sorry," she tried to back peddle. From the glare Snape gave her as she faced him, he hadn't forgiven her. "I should just stop talking then."

"Do Potter and Weasley know?" he asked.

Hermione wasn't sure how to respond. If she told the truth, he would be mad at her, but if she lied, he would know and still be mad at her. Letting her Gryffindor bluntness preside, she acknowledged, "They know I had a crush on you. That's all."

"Good. Try to keep it that way."

* * *

"Try to keep quiet," Snape hissed in an inaudible voice. Just as he said that, Hermione's foot stepped down and a branch snapped loudly in half beneath her foot. Snape cringed at the loud noise.

"Sorry," Hermione whispered just as quietly. They walked, but with each step, Snape became more and more annoyed with the girl's inability to walk quietly. She couldn't have created more noise if she had tried.

At last, Snape became too frustrated to tolerate the noise. The Forbidden Forest was dangerous, and tromping through it loudly and alerting every creature in there to their presence was not helping. Without warning, Snape stopped and turned. Hermione noticed his maddened expression, and stopped also. She was unprepared as he stalked forward. She resisted the urge to walk backward as she was faced with his furious glare. Unexpectedly, Snape reached forward and lifted her off the ground. Hermione shrieked, and immediately silenced herself once she saw the man's glare. Then, her world turned upside down as he placed her over his shoulder.

"What..." Hermione began to ask.

"Silence," Snape hissed quietly as he walked, the sound of his steps much more quiet than Hermione's steps, "not a word."

* * *

"We're done now, Granger," Snape said as he straightened up, wrapping the greenery in a cloth and placing it in his robes. He turned and walked towards the end of the clearing, but he didn't hear Hermione's loud footsteps behind him. Surprised, he turned around, and froze.

'Crap' he thought as he noticed the girl's predicament. She stood still, looking at him guiltily. With dread, Snape changed directions and approached her. "I warned you, Miss Granger, yet you ignored me," he said calmly.

Hermione flinched at his tone. "Sorry, professor." Snape scowled. For an apology, it sucked. The girl had probably done that on purpose, he thought.

"I should just leave you here in punishment for your stupidity," he informed her cooly. "In fact, I think I will. Good luck getting back on your own." He smirked.

Snape turned and slowly walked away, listening for the slight signs of her frustration. At last, he heard what he wanted, the quaver in her voice as she called, "Wait" - Snape turned - "I really am sorry, sir," she apologized, the sincerity evident in her face.

"I shall help you this time, Miss Granger, but do not make this a habit in the future."

* * *

Hermione's heart pumped furiously as the man approached. His face seemed angered, yet he wasn't scowling at her. Although his expression was stern, Hermione had grow accustomed to the fierceness. She looked into his eyes to see his true emotions. What she saw there frightened her. She had little patience for boys, and as such, had never seen that gaze directed towards her. But there was no mistaking the expression deeply hidden beneath his callous demeanor. It was present, and strong.

She tried to calm her breathing as he stepped nearer, so close she could smell his musky scent. Defiantly, she raised her head towards his, refusing to avert her gaze. Arms snaked around her waist, and she repressed a shiver. The man looked down at her, and she gently quavered in his arms at the desire burning in his coal black eyes. His desire for her. Hermione brought her face closer to his, waiting for the anticipated moment. Her heart was thudding wildly, but she no longer cared. There was only one thing she wanted, even though she had every reason not to, but it was finally within her grasp. Tortuously slowly, Snape closed the distance between them.

* * *

Snape pulled the girl into his arms and gazed down at her. He was long past the point of caring for the impropriety of the situation, or that she was his student. All he cared about was that she was there, in his arms, willing to kiss him, and she was the one he desired. He couldn't deny his feelings. He loved her, and he was close.

With one last look towards her, silently offering her an escape she refused to take, he closed the distance. Their lips met, tenderly at first, and Snape felt a jolt of desire race through him again. Instinctively, he pulled the girl in his arms closer until her entire body moulded into his. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, causing her to gasp and giving him the opening he sought. His tongue fought with hers. When he ran out of breath, Snape broke the kiss and reluctantly stepped away, releasing the girl from his hold.

In the aftermath, he regretted what had occurred. She was his student. It shouldn't have happened, no matter how much he enjoyed it. "I am sorry, Miss Granger. I should not have taken advantage of you like that."


	121. Chapter 121

"We should talk about last night," Hermione murmured once she finished the potion. Turning off the heat, she left it to cool while she approached Snape's workstation.

"There is nothing to talk about," was his soft, abrupt reply.

"Yes, there is. Last night..."

"Should not have happened," he interrupted her, frustrated by her unwillingness to drop the topic.

"I felt something, and you did too," she continued as if he had not interrupted her, her Gryffindor bravery and bluntness allowing her to say those words.

"Drop it," he instructed her, "unless you've decided to forgive me."

Hermione was silent for a moment. "Fine. I'll let it drop."

Snape nodded his head. "Good. Then last night never happened."

"Something happened last night?" Hermione asked, feigning innocence.

"You never said if you've decided to forgive me or not," Snape said, fighting the nerves he was feeling in anticipation of her answer.

Hermione considered his words for a moment, head tilted to the side as she was lost in thought. At long last, she said, "I want to forgive you, but if I do, what reassurance do I have that you won't go back to mistreating me again?"


	122. Chapter 122

"I have let you in, what more do you want?" He didn't show it, but he was exasperated with her. One moment, they were discussing the latest in academia, and then they were suddenly arguing. They had formed a friendship of sorts, but that still didn't justify their apparent impropriety. He was becoming closer to her. It was dangerous, his love for her. Even more than that, he was terrified. Lily's rejection he handled. Granted, he regretted joining the Death Eaters, but he still handled it.

His affections for her ran far deeper. There was no use denying it. If she broke his heart, it would hurt more than when Lily had, and he did not think he would be able recover from it. He had already shared far more with her than anyone else except Dumbledore. He trusted her explicitly for some strange reason. Whatever happened, he vowed to be truthful with her. She deserved that, and far more than he could give, but it was too late to back away, especially now she was softening towards him. Almost loosing her showed him that he needed her as more than just a friend. Rules be damned.


	123. Chapter 123

"Go back to Gryffindor Tower," Snape instructed as he went towards his bathroom. Hermione looked after him, and then decided to follow instead of leaving.

"Hermione," he looked at her warningly. Hermione placed her hands on her hips. _Make me_ her eyes seemed to tell him.

Snape sighed. If that was how she was going to act, so be it. "Now, Granger," he told her in his teaching voice. It was all Hermione could do to keep from reacting to that voice and doing what she was told.

Snape buried his head in his hand. "I will talk to you about this tomorrow. It's too late tonight."

"Promise?" Hermione didn't trust him. He didn't blame her. If he could wriggle out of that conversation, he would.

Reluctantly, he agreed. "I promise. Now get out of here before I deduct points from Gryffindor for being out of bed after hours."

A glint formed in Hermione's face. With a grin, she pushed past him in the room and dropped onto his bed. His heart sped up seeing here there. "I am in bed," she told him, though the bright flush across her face contradicted her self-assured manner.


	124. Chapter 124

Snape strode towards her. Hermione crawled back, planting herself firmly in the center of the bed, defiant gaze challenging him. "Out," he said, though it was more playful than firm.

"Make me," Hermione challenged, eyebrow raised. Snape lifted his own eyebrow in response. She was asking for it. Before she could react, he climbed into the bed next to her and his fingers dug mercilessly into her sides. Hermione's face turned red and tears dripped from her eyes as she laughed. Her stomach hurt, but he wouldn't stop. She twitched and rolled, trying to avoid his fingers, but he pinned her to the bed.

"I give," she gasped between pants when she finally gained a brief respite. She stood and headed for the door. Her heart was thumping wildly as she left, and when the door swung closed behind her, she leaned back against the wall. She knew her clothes were rumpled and her hair askew, but she didn't care as she tried to control the rapid pounding of her heart. As she reflected on what had just happened, she cursed inwardly. She shouldn't have left and broken whatever spell had ensnared them at that moment.


	125. Chapter 125

Hermione sat across from Snape in silent contemplation, until he eventually asked "What's bothering you?" He kept the concern out of his voice, but it was there.

"Severus, what are we?" she blurted out. Her subconscious automatically used his first name, and if Snape noticed, he chose not to comment.

"I don't follow." He had an idea, but if it was true, she would have to spell it out.

"This thing between us..." Hermione started, " What is it. We kissed, and then, well, I really like you, and I was just wondering, what is our relationship?" It was not eloquent, but it got her point across.

Snape studied her face for a moment. "I really like you too" he repeated her words. He leaned across the space between them and gripped her hands, noticing how clammy they were from sweat. "Hermione, would you go out with me?"

Snape waited with baited breath as Hermione paused.

"Yes!"she said enthusiastically, and then her smile faded from her face.

"Is something wrong?" Snape asked upon seeing her saddened expression.

Hermione attempted a smile. She couldn't tell him that she still didn't trust him not to hurt her again.


	126. Chapter 126

Wow, over 600 reviews. Thanks everyone! Here is another super long chapter.

* * *

Hermione couldn't stop walking around giddily. Absolutely nothing could quell her happiness. His girlfriend. As she said that to herself, she giggled and smiled even broader. Harry looked at her strangely. "You alright, Hermione?" he asked upon observing her highly uncharacteristic behavior.

Hermione nodded. "We're dating!" she told him enthusiastically. Then, her smile dropped. "Please, don't tell anyone though." The unspoken thought remained. If it came to public attention, she would be humiliated and ridiculed, and the integrity of her grades brought into question.

Harry nodded in understanding. "I'm happy for you. I can't say it doesn't disgust me, but if you're happy with it, then I'll support you."

"So you aren't mad?" Hermione confirmed.

"I'm not mad" Harry agreed. Hermione flung her arms around her. She didn't need to say thanks. Harry would understand her. Then, she withdrew and hurried along the corridor, a bounce in her step. It was time for DADA, and she couldn't wait to see him again. This would be the first time she saw him since the previous night, and she couldn't deny her excitement. Bubbly and happy, she strode into the room and flopped into a desk, goofy grin on her face.

* * *

Snape's breath caught at the beautiful smile on his girlfriend's face. _His girlfriend_. Internally, he purred at that thought. A year ago, he never would have believed that the girl returned his feeling for her, or that she would date him. But she had, and now he was beyond happy. He was sure the headmaster knew, but Albus had said nothing. Thankfully, too, or he could loose his job. Though, he was fairly certain the headmaster wanted him to be with Hermione long before he knew it himself. The old fool was annoyingly perceptive sometimes.

He narrowed his eyes as he addressed the class. No matter how much happiness he was feeling, he could not let it show. It was too dangerous. Instead, he spend the entire time snarling and taking points from Gryffindor. It was strange, he noted, that even as he took ten points from Hermione for disrupting the class with her wild hand waving, her grin didn't fall. In fact, he could swear that as he passed by her, she had gently brushed his hand. A tingle shot through his arm at the discrete action, and he barely managed to maintain his grim composure.

* * *

"Please, please," Hermione begged. Snape studiously looked away from her, ignoring her, yet he still gripped her small hand in his larger one firmly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small pout on her face. He couldn't help the rush of desire that chorused through him as he saw her like that.

"No, Hermione. It's not right. Not at this time," he protested firmly.

Hermione's pout deepened, but after a few moments, a grin spread across her face. "You won't be doing anything wrong. As you said, you have Dumbledore's permission. I don't see why you're reticent."

Snape faced her and brought a finger to her lips. Hermione tensed, and stilled, hoping she would finally get what she wanted. "No, Hermione, I can't. Please, don't ask me too. This isn't the right time."

Hermione smirked. "It is the right time. You want to too." There. She felt she would win the argument now. Snape, to Hermione's dismay, still did not falter.

"Hermione," he said through clenched teeth. "It's the middle of February and its freezing outside. I don't want you to catch a chill and die just so we can have a water balloon fight!"

* * *

"What actually happened?" Snape questioned Hermione the moment she stepped into his rooms. Hermione looked at him, perplexed. Before she could voice her confusion, he added, "The spell. Where did Potter find the spell."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. She wanted to tell him, and she felt it was right, but she had promised Harry not to say anything. Judging by the damage inflicted on Malfoy by the spell, she needed to confess. Maybe he could do something about it. "Harry found it in a book," she explained. Snape raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe her. "Handwritten in an old potions book. When he and Ron didn't have their books at the beginning of the year, Professor Slughorn lent them old ones, and the one Harry got was written in with all kinds of spells."

Snape remained impassive through her explanation, but at that part, he interjected, "That is why Horace seems to admire Potter's abilities." Hermione listened, but it seemed almost as if he was talking to himself. Then, he looked at her and asked, "And who was the original owner of this mysterious book."

"All it says is the half-blood prince."

* * *

Snape didn't appear surprised at the name. "Have you heard of him?" Hermione asked curiously. Instead of replying, Snape stood and collected a volume from his book shelf. Walking back towards the couch, he sat next to her, the book over both their laps.

"I have heard of him," he said as be began flipping through the pages until he found the one he needed. Hermione looked as a young girl, about seventeen or eighteen years old, smiled and waved up from the photo. She had dark black hair and a pale complexion. "My mother," Snape said by way of explanation, "Her name was Eileen Prince."

"Was?"

"She died." His response was short and clipped, though Hermione realized the significance of what he had just said. Her head shot up, and she looked at him in a new light.

"You, you're the half-blood prince." It wasn't a question.

"I am." He was completely serious.

Hermione smiled. "I knew the handwriting looked familiar!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

Snape smirked at her. "Of course it did."

"But, Severus, how did you learn all those spells and shortcuts?"

"I invented them." For once, Hermione was speechless.

* * *

"You seem happier now, Severus," Minerva McGonagall remarked one day in the staff room. Snape looked up from his reading and eyed her speculatively, saying nothing before he resumed reading. "What has you so cheerful?" McGonagall asked. "I'm glad, of course. You deserve to be happy."

Snape snapped the book shut, "Not that it's any of your concern, Minerva, but I am happier and the cause is not your concern." An irritated look passed over McGonagall'f face. She detested having answers kept from her, yet she also knew Snape would not divulge more than he had already. Snape, meanwhile, was inwardly gloating. It served the woman right, asking such intrusive questions. And if she knew that Hermione was the cause of his happiness, she would be furious at him. McGonagall had a fierce protective streak when it came to her Gryffindor cubs, and she would surely disprove of his relationship.

_Most people_, Snape mused, _would disprove of my relationship_. And that was the truth, but he and Hermione were fine with the situation, and Dumbledore had given his silent approval. Then again, he might be surprised at who would support them. Somehow, Hermione had convinced Harry and Ron.


	127. Chapter 127

Hermione nervously pushed a small package into Snape's waiting hand. He looked at the parcel expectantly. "What is the occasion?" he asked, confused. It was too late for Christmas and Valentine's day, and it certainly wasn't his birthday. He was utterly mystified.

"Just open it," Hermione muttered anxiously. Slowly, he did as she asked, long, graceful fingers gently prying the colorful paper open.

Hermione watched expectantly as he unwrapped a small, leather bound book. He opened it, to see empty pages. "Thank you," he told her, a small smile on his lips. Receiving a present was a nice feeling, and one he was not accustomed to.

"It's a two way journal," Hermione explained. "I have the other one, so we can see what the other writes. I thought it would be useful, since we can't be obvious in sending notes to each other. Do you like it?" she said in a rush.

"You did this, for us?" Snape asked, shocked. The present was more than he had originally anticipated, and he was touched. Gently, he pulled her into his arms, giving her a warm hug as he replied, "Yes, Hermione, I like it. Thank you."


	128. Chapter 128

Snape glared down at the class, though as he scanned the faces of the slightly fearful students, he fought to repress a smile as he found one particular person. Hermione, bent over the table, quill in hand and journal open scribbling furiously. Typical. Her bushy-hair might have been tamed, but she was still the book-worm. He noticed the exact journal on the table looked exactly like the one she had given him.

Without pausing in his lecture, he spared a glance towards his journal on the desk. He flicked it open, eyes glancing down as he continued speaking. To his amusement, there was already a message on the crisp, white parchment. So she wasn't paying attention in class after all.

With a smirk, he called, "Miss Granger, please answer the question."

"Umm, Sir?" Hermione questioned. Snape resisted snorting in amusement. Hermione not paying attention in class was completely unheard of.

"Yes, I believe I asked you a question." His eyes bore into hers. He dearly hoped she wouldn't make him pay for his behavior later, but it was too much fun riling her up. And besides, it was long overdue. "Unless you weren't paying attention."


	129. Chapter 129

Hermione was still blushing as the class divided into pairs to practice nonverbal spells. Her earlier humiliation stung, yet she knew he wasn't doing it out of malice. She caught the trace of amusement in his face, so subtle that she was sure she was the only student who picked up on it.

At the front of the room, Snape reread the message.

_Meet again tonight? - Hermione_

Picking up his quill, he replied.

_Perhaps you should pay better attention in class. - Severus_

_You didn't answer my question. - Hermione_

_No - Severus_

_No we can't meet or no you didn't answer my question? - Hermione_

_Yes - Severus_

_You are an infuriating man. - Hermione_

_Stop being distracted in my class. - Severus_

_Then stop distracting me. - Hermione_

_Might I remind you, Miss Granger, that you started this conversation. - Severus_

_You finished it. - Hermione_

_Touche. - Severus_

_But seriously, are we meeting again tonight? - Hermione_

_I would not be opposed. - Severus_

_Me neither. - Hermione_

_Now, will you please PAY ATTENTION! - S. Snape_

_I am paying attention to my sexy professor. - H. Granger_

Snape spluttered. Cold, cruel, calculating, unfair and ugly were all words used to describe him, not sexy. What was she thinking?


	130. Chapter 130

_Miss Granger, I know you're in class. Pay attention to your teacher. - SS_

_I am. You're a teacher. - HG_

_Don't remind me. - SS_

_Don't you have a class too?" - HG_

_Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw first years, and they're taking a test. You, on the other hand, should be paying attention. - SS_

_This gift was wasted on you. Have some fun. - HG_

_That's coming from you? - SS_

_What is that supposed to mean? - HG_

_Nothing. - SS_

_Nice save. - HG_

_I aim to please. - SS_

_I can think of one way you can please me when we meet tonight. - HG_

_ABSOLUTELY NOT! I told you that. Not until you graduate. I, at least, still cling to some morals. - SS_

_Calm down. I only want you to kiss me. - HG_

_That can be arranged. - SS_

_Hermione? - SS_

_You still there? - SS_

_Frustrating girl. - SS_

_I'm paying attention to class like you told me to. - HG_

_Good. - SS_

_So stop distracting me. - HG_

_Don't ignore me. - HG_

_It isn't funny. - HG_

_Seriously not funny. - HG_

_Good. Now you know what it feels like. Come by before dinner, and dress nicely. I'm taking you out. - SS_


	131. Chapter 131

Hermione rapped on the door. She shouldn't feel nervous, but she did. It was only a date, and it was only Severus. Severus. The fact that they were together was still a shock. Amazing, but shocking. And she wasn't sure what he had meant by dress nicely. Not her school robes, that was certain, but beyond that, she had no idea.

The door swung open and she entered, heels clicking against the stone floor. Snape looked her up and down, admiring the dress. "You look beautiful." He was completely sincere.

A red flush crept onto Hermione's cheeks at the compliment. "Thanks. Why did you tell me to dress up?" she asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

"Eager and curious as always, I see," he mussed. Hermione frowned. Was it to much for him to answer her questions? Apparently so.

"I'm taking you out to dinner in muggle London," he explained.

Hermione grinned broadly. "Where?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He couldn't help withholding information from her. She was so cute as she dug for answers. Hermione, however, only nodded and stepped up towards him.

"Then lead the way."


	132. Chapter 132

A small box burned at hole in his pocket. Hermione smiled at him, and a slight giggle escaped her. She immediately quieted at his solemn expression. "Something wrong?" she asked. The girl was way too perceptive.

Knowing she would nag him if he didn't explain, he withdrew the small box from his pocket, "Hermione..." Hermione, however, had paled. She looked nervously from the white jewelry box to him, and back again. Snape immediately regretted this. It was a bad idea, but he had already gone to far to stop. Flicking open the box, he said more confidently than he felt, "I know this is only our first date, but I wanted to give this to you."

"Oh." A rosy color had returned to Hermione's pale complexion as she admired the necklace. It was a small pendant, but elegantly sculpted, as a snake and lion fought, yet even as they fought, they were intertwined and inseparable. "Oh," she muttered again, unable to say anything. To her dismay, salty tears welled in her eyes. His gift was so unexpected and sweet all at the same time. Yet, from the look of it, it was expensive. "I can't accept this."


	133. Chapter 133

"Dear god! What did he do to you?" Harry questioned the moment Hermione walked into the common room, eyes red and puffy from crying.

"Nothing," Hermione muttered monotonously. She didn't even spare a glance towards him. Instead, she merely stormed towards the staircase.

"You've been crying. What happened?" This time, it wasn't a question. It was a demand.

Hermione's steps faltered, but she still didn't look at her friend. "Please, not tonight. I need to think about it. Just give me some time."

Harry sighed, still concerned for her. "Fine. But tell me tomorrow, and if he hurt you, he will pay," Harry said bitterly. Hermione, however, didn't smile. She merely nodded thanks at him and slowly climbed the staircase. To her relief, she didn't trip once on the steps, a feat considering her vision was still blurred by tears. As she lay in bed unable to fall asleep, her thoughts drifted. What happened? Why was he so upset? The gift was too expensive to give to her. That was all. She loved it. It was so representative of their relationship, but she couldn't accept it. Why couldn't he understand that?


	134. Chapter 134

AN: I've been terrible at updating recently, since this month has been hectic. But it will be better from now on. On the plus side, my recent trip to Utah gave me the motivation to write another long chapter.

* * *

"I don't know why she told you, Potter, and I certainly wish she hadn't, but she ended it with me!" Snape snarled. He couldn't believe he was telling the boy that. The words just slipped from his mouth. He needed to get a grip. His feelings for Hermione were causing him to act and talk in abnormal ways, and it needed to stop before he did something he truly regretted, or even worse, something that could get him killed.

Harry glared at him. "Fine. But you're the reason she's in tears and refusing to eat." Guilt and sorrow filled Snape's gut. Guilt, that he was the one who hurt her, even though she had rejected him. If only he hadn't tried to give her the necklace! Then none of this would have happened.

It was too late now, though. She was hurt, and he didn't know why that upset him more than his own broken heart. Damn girl, messing with his mind and emotions. That was why he didn't have friends, didn't do love. That was why he had spent nearly twenty years in love with a dead woman, until _she_ had come along. Hermione. She was no longer his.

* * *

"Preposterous, Harry, I never broke up with him," Hermione explained to her best friend for the third time. "I don't care what he told you, I know what I said to him."

"Hermione, he seemed convinced it was you who broke up with him. Maybe you should talk to him."

"No. I won't be able to handle it. He's the one who ended it with me. And I don't get why. One moment he was trying to give me a gift and then he's back to callous professor."

"Trying?" Harry questioned. "You didn't reject the gift, did you, Hermione?"

"I did," Hermione confirmed. Then, her mouth dropped. She clapped her hand over it, as she muttered, "O. My. God." She steadied her breathing, and lowered her hand. "Harry, he thought I was rejecting him, but I just couldn't accept something that ridiculously expensive."

"Then go talk to him." Harry's words were wise, and Hermione smiled at him gratefully. If it wasn't for him, she never would have realized...

She shuddered to think that that would have been the end of their relationship. Then, she frowned. As it was, there was still no relationship. She needed to remedy that, and soon.

* * *

"Just talk to me," Hermione pleaded.

"I have nothing to say to you." His tone was cold, callous, not giving anything away. He was beyond mad, and Hermione winced in sympathy.

"I wasn't you I rejected. It was the gift," she explained anyways. She needed to tell him that, and he would listen. "It was too expensive. Severus, I don't feel right accepting something like that."

"You didn't like it?" If she wasn't so stressed, she would have found his insecurity cute.

Hastily, she reassured him, "I liked it, and I like you. But you can't buy such expensive things for me."

Snape looked up, hope creeping back into his heart. He still had a chance. "You weren't ending it with me then? Not because I'm too old and messed up?"

"Severus, no!" Hermione exclaimed. "I like you. I don't understand why, or how, but my feelings for you are different than anything I've experienced before. I truly care about you, and I want you, as you are, problems and everything. I think I love you!"

Hermione clapped her hand to her mouth, horrified at what she had revealed. But the moment she said it, she knew it was true.

* * *

Snape felt his hear rate increase. The L word. No, impossible. But she wouldn't lie. He knew her too well for that. She was being completely earnest. He knew how he should react, jubilant, happy, that she loved him, yet how could he respond?

"Please, say something," Hermione pleaded.

Snape's words caught in my throat. Eventually, he forced out, "Hermione, I love you too." That was all she needed to hear. She flung her arms around his neck, and he pulled her tighter into his embrace, nuzzling his nose into her hair, inhaling her familiar scent of jasmine and parchment.

"So are we good?" she whispered once she pulled back.

Snape's eyes met hers, and he nodded. "Yes. We are good. Misunderstanding solved." She smiled briefly at that. "I do want you to wear it. I bought it for you."

"Severus, you can't spend that kind of money on me," Hermione protested.

"You're my girlfriend and the woman I love. If I feel like buying things for you, I will. Please, just accept it graciously, because either way it belongs to you now." Before Hermione could protest, Snape grabbed the necklace from his pocket and quickly clasped it around her neck.

* * *

Hermione stumbled back into the common room. Her hair was messed up and her lips were slightly swollen, but she was grinning. Luckily for her, it was well past curfew, so the only people left were Harry and Ron who had waited up for her.

Harry looked at her quizzically and Ron openly gaped. Hermione felt a blush stain her cheeks at their scrutiny. "Crisis averted," she mumbled.

Harry breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing Hermione would return to her usual self. Ron didn't look as pleased. "I don't get what you see the git, Hermione," he said bluntly.

Hermione rolled her eyes as she corrected, "Don't call him that. He's Professor Snape to you."

"Do you call him that too?" Ron spat. "No wonder you get good grades."

Hermione's eyes welled with unshed tears. Harry rushed to her side and hugged her, but she glared in furry at Ron. Those words from Malfoy had stung, but she brushed it aside because they weren't true. Now that it was her best friend, they stung.

"GET OUT!" she shrieked, drawing her wand and pointing it straight at Ron's heart.

Ron slowly backed away. "I was just saying what everyone will be thinking."

* * *

_He wouldn't dare, would he?_ Hermione asked herself. She had made him promise he wouldn't reveal her relationship with Snape, but it seemed he would. Harry, at least, would be on her side, but she still didn't want to handle the scrutiny of the school. Most already detested her. She didn't even want to contemplate the derision that would descend upon her if her relationship was made public.

Subconsciously, her hands fingered the necklace. It was beautiful, and descriptive of their situation. As she played with it, she felt the gentle thrum of magic pulsing inside. At that, she smiled. From what she could detect, there was a protective spell placed by the man himself. She allowed herself a small smile. At least he cared.

Now all she had to do was find a way to keep Ron quiet. Standing, she groaned at the tingle in her legs. She hadn't realized they had fallen asleep while she was sitting. Quietly, she crossed the room. To her horror, Ron was standing in the doorway. She wasn't ready for the confrontation! She still had a lot of thinking and planning to do about how she would address him. Now wasn't the time.

* * *

"Listen, Hermione, I'm really sorry about what I said to you yesterday. It was spiteful, and untrue, and I know that. I never should have said it, and I'm a horrible friend. I didn't mean it, I only said it because I was jealous. I'm not asking you to forgive me, because I can't forgive myself yet, but I just want you to know I regret saying it and I know it isn't true." Ron looked at her expectantly.

Hermione didn't know how to reply, so instead, she asked, "Did you tell anyone?"

"No."

She believed him and let out a sight of relief. "Then I forgive you. You meant no harm, and we're all stressed out now. And Harry can't afford to have us fighting. He will need us by his side soon. If we weren't at war, I wouldn't forgive you, but given the circumstances...Well, this is for the greater good."

Ron appeared equally stunned as her at the unexpected reply. Then, he slowly started to smile. If she forgave him, he could begin to forgive himself. And he would certainly never let words that monumentally stupid escape his mouth ever again. It simply wasn't worth it.


	135. Chapter 135

_Talk, Severus, something is bothering you. - H_

_Its nothing. - S_

_I know you better than that now. You've been really stressed out all week. - H_

_I've got everything under control. - S_

_Are you sure? I'm worried about you. Please don't shut me out. - H_

_And I'm worried about you too. Worried that soon you'll follow Potter and do something incredibly reckless and get yourself killed. I'm surprised you friendship with Potter hasn't gotten you killed already. - S_

_He's not that bad. And stop trying to distract me. - H_

_It's nothing that concerns you. - S_

_I love you. Of course it concerns me when it makes you sad. - H_

_Aren't you supposed to be in class? - S_

_You are too, so stop distracting and just tell me what has you all upset. - H_

_You have no idea what I want to do to you now. - S_

_I have an idea ;) - H_

_Mind out of the gutter, Granger. - S_

_Then tell me what's wrong. - H_

_Severus? - H_

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. - H_

_No, Hermione, you're right. I'll tell you later tonight. - S_


	136. Chapter 136

Hermione laid back against Snape's chest as his arm wrapped around her shoulder. She tilted her head up so she could see his pale face. Snape stilled. This was the moment. He would tell her, as much as his mind was screaming at him not to. "Hermione, I need you to promise that you will not reveal this to anyone, not even Potter or Weasley."

"I promise," Hermione said confidently, sure she could handle whatever he would tell her. She was more concerned for his well-being at the moment.

"Albus is dying. Over the summer he came in contact with a curse, and when he finally came to me, it was too late to stop it. I slowed it, but he is closer and closer to dying each moment. He has only a few months left." Hermione was not completely shocked. She had suspected something like that since she had seen his dead hand at the beginning of the school year. "Also, Draco has been ordered to kill him, but Albus doesn't want to destroy Draco's innocence. He has ordered me to kill him when the time comes."

Snape grimaced at his revelation as Hermione froze.


	137. Chapter 137

"Look at me, Severus," Hermione commanded. His gaze drifted towards hers, and Hermione looked at him unflinchingly. "I'm so sorry," she murmured more soothingly.

Snape turned away. "I don't want your pity," he spat acerbically.

"Don't you dare," Hermione protested, "I'm not pitying you. I'm sorry you've been put in that position, indignant that Professor Dumbledore would ask that of you, but I want you to know I'm with you. Tell me me what I can do to help you, anything at all."

Snape looked into her earnest gaze. She meant every word she had said, and, strangely, he felt comforted by her concern. Nevertheless, it was unnecessary. It was a burden he had to bear alone.

Hermione kept her stare focused on him, waiting for his response. "Help me forget. Distract me." He meant it as a command, but instead it came out pleading. He grimaced at the need in his tone. He was supposed to be strong, not weak like this. She was the only one who could make him act like this.

Hermione didn't comment. She leaned in towards him and placed a chaste kiss on the side of his mouth.


	138. Chapter 138

Snape's gut clenched in worry. He needed to find her, needed to know she was alright. He ran through the darkened corridors, praying that he wouldn't encounter anyone. His heart thumped wildly, though more from his fear and adrenaline than from physical exertion. The cold corridors had never appeared more cruel and unforgiving. He needed to reach the end, to find her and know she was alive. Hermione. She had to be safe.

Even as he was distracted by images of her, he was obsessing over Albus's death. He killed the man, his mentor and father figure. But now wasn't the time to reflect on that. He shuddered to think what might have befallen Hermione if the Death Eaters had gotten to her.

He was nearing the end when he heard footsteps and a voice calling out. Potter. He snarled and immediately changed direction, inwardly cursing the boy. He would have no choice but to flee. Potter couldn't know. His position as a spy was too precarious to have wonder-boy know his real situation. It was better that Potter thought of him as a traitor. A few more steps and he could apparate away.


	139. Chapter 139

"Don't be silly, Harry. We'll go with you," Hermione informed him in a no-nonsense tone. Ever since Dumbledore's death, they had all been on edge, and she could feel Harry slowly withdrawing into himself, feeling the need to search for the Horcruxes alone. She understood the cause of his self-sacrificing bravery, but she could not allow it. As much as he refused to see it, he needed his friends. He needed Roy, loyal and fun, his best mate who could help him relax in a way she never could. And he needed her, the brains of the Golden Trio, to keep them alive, to keep searching and finding information he never could himself. He needed her to connect the dots in the puzzle. She could not let Harry face that alone.

"It's too dangerous," Harry protested, though it was weak. He was already caving. The thought of being without his friends didn't appeal to him.

"You'll need us, Harry," Ron told him, and he was right. Hermione nodded her agreement. The three fell silent as a cool breeze wafted through the night air as they stood on top of the astronomy tower.


	140. Chapter 140

The moment he was sure he was alone, Snape warded the room and collapsed onto the chair, breathing sharply. Hermione. They had found her. The Death Eaters had only just come to Voldemort, describing the attack. They had woken up stunned, and Snape was thankful that Hermione managed to escape. She was in grave danger, and he could do nothing to protect her. That, more than anything, frustrated him. He couldn't even see her to reassure himself that she was alright. For all he knew, she might no longer be in the country. The uncertainty was shocking. He hated not knowing. But if was necessary. If Voldemort somehow discovered his affections for the girl...

He could not think like that. It wasn't healthy and he certainly couldn't afford to become preoccupied. He would only hope that the three of them made it out alive, and he would do all he could to help them. He knew, without a shred of uncertainty, that the upcoming months would be torturous. He wouldn't be able to see her, and now, he was considered a traitor by the very people he was trying to save. _Please, Hermione, don't die._


	141. Chapter 141

Snape clenched the yellowed piece of old parchment tightly in his hand. Days earlier when he found it, he immediately wanted to send it, but it was still in his possession. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to send it to her. Maybe a part of that was because he felt the compulsion to help her, but knew she would flee at the mere sign of him, and she wasn't stupid enough to trust a piece of parchment that just conveniently appeared from nowhere. She needed the information on the parchment, but how to get it to her?

It wasn't until days later that he found a solution. A patronus. He could have the patronus bring her the message, and his patronus took the same form hers did. She wouldn't question the validity of the information if she thought it came from herself. Immediately, he summoned the patronus and handed over the parchment, instructing the otter to give it to Hermione, and to disappear immediately after. As the otter soared off, he hoped she would trust the information. There were ways to destroy horcruxes contained in that ancient text that Voldemort wasn't aware of.


	142. Chapter 142

"Watch me, mummy!" a small girl commanded. Hermione looked up from her book and smiled gently as a raven-haired toddler attempted a summersault. Hermione struggled to keep from laughing at the girl's antics as, unable to finish the roll, she rocked on her back, trying to get up.

"I'm home," a voice called out from the doorway.

Immediately, the toddler leapt up from her spot on the floor. "Daddy!" she squealed as she barreled towards the man. Wrapping her arms tightly around one of his legs, she looked up at him affectionately. "Play with me," she commanded, watching him expectantly.

The man in question scooped the littler girl up into his arms, and she gave a small shriek. "What's that?" he growled as he tossed her into the air. The girl squealed as she flew and came to land safely back into his arms.

Hermione, laughing, stood to join them. The toddler, however, had no eyes for her mother, just her recently returned father. The man smirked at Hermione, as if to triumphantly say their daughter was a daddy's girl. Hermione pouted, but her eyes remained affectionate. "Your work keeps you away too much, Severus."


	143. Chapter 143

Hermione awoke startled. How dare her subconscious keep reminding her of him. No matter how much she tried to forget him so her worries wouldn't jeopardize their mission, she kept thinking about how open he was once, and she missed him.

She had never really though about marriage and kids, and she certainly couldn't afford to now, yet the dream had awoken some strange feeling inside her. She attempted to shake it off.

By the end of the day, her dream was not forgotten, but pushed to the back of her mind as she knew the time for them to return to Hogwarts was approaching. It would be dangerous, walking directly into enemy territory, but it was close. Two Horcruxes left: one at Hogwarts and Naigini. She, Harry, and Ron would be returning soon, and she wasn't sure she was quite ready.

* * *

Hermione shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her body. Instinctively, she curled her legs up and hugged them, trying to gain warmth in the cold night. Alone. So alone in the wilderness, without outside contact. Deep down, though, she knew it was only a matter of time before they were found, but for the moment...

In the distance, Hermione spotted a faint form. Immediately, she jumped to her feet and drew her wand, prepared to wake Harry and Ron in the stranger was threatening. As the shape approached, she noticed it was silver, shining, translucent. A patronus, her fatigued mind told her. Breathlessly, she waited for the form to approach, and when it was close enough for her to make out the shape, she gasped. An otter. Her patronus!

But that wasn't possible. She hadn't cast one recently. Unless... No, she ruled out her initial theory. The case of a patronus changing was rare, so rare, yet, just maybe it was from him.

The otter glided to a stop before her, tilted its head in contemplation before revealing the message. "You are receiving this because..." the voice began, a voice Hermione could recognize even blindfolded, that of Severus Snape.

* * *

Hermione woke with a stiff leg. She grumbled as she forced herself awake, remembering where she was. The cot in the tent was uncomfortable to say the least, but at least there was shelter. Immediately, her thoughts drifted to someone far away. Harry and Ron despised the man, and she could say nothing against them. What was worse, she had to agree with them. She knew the reason he had killed Dumbledore, but she could say nothing to defend him. If anyone, for a moment, thought he still was helping them, he would be killed. That she could even contemplate. So she agreed with Harry and Ron, saying that he was a traitor, and each time a small part of her heart splintered. She couldn't let them see her pain.

_What is he doing now?_ her subconscious questioned. It was better that she didn't know, but that couldn't stop her curiosity. She rummaged through the beaded bag, fishing for something she knew she had included. Her fingers soon skimmed across cool leather, and she withdrew the small journal. Flicking to an empty page, she picked up a quill.

_Please tell me you still have this. Are you ok?_

* * *

Snape's quill hovered over the blank page. He knew he had to say something to her, but what? It had been months since he had last had contact with her, aside from the brief message he sent with his patronus. Even without contacting her recently, he could still envision the fear and worry in her eyes about him from hi lack of contact. Yet, each time he had gone to respond, he had drawn a blank. But he needed to write. With a sight, he set the quill tip down as spidery letters flowed across the page.

_I am still alive, if that is what you are asking. I miss you so much, and I worry for you. It is too dangerous for us to keep writing. The magical signature could be detected, and you are to smart to be ignorant of what that is dangerous for the both of us. Please, do not let a certain one of your friends lead you to something too foolhardy and dangerous. I will do the best I can to help you. I don't know how much information you have had access recently, but I am the Headmaster. I must stop writing now. DO NOT REPLY._

Snape paused for a moment, unsure if he should say the words on his mind. Resolving to go for it, he picked up his quill and wrote, _I love you._


	144. Chapter 144

Hermione smiled gently at the last line he wrote. It was sweet, and not at all like his normal self. She sighed gently. Still, she was touched by his sentiments. As she mind turned to the beginning of his entry, she cringed. She shouldn't have been that stupid. Of course the spell could be traced, and she cringed at the thought of what would happen if they were caught. As to his plea not to do anything foolhardy, she could not follow that. If Harry and Ron tried something stupid, she would follow to keep him from getting killed. All that was left was to wait, and plan how they were going to get into Hogwarts finish off the Horcruxes. If, by some miracle they were all still alive by the end...

She forcefully stopped her train of thought. It wouldn't do to dwell on the future. She had to focus on the present. Each distraction ensured it would take them longer to reach their goal, and that could not happen. Who knew how many would die for each moment they were distracted. W_hy did you ever get involved in this?_ The answer, she knew, was simple.


	145. Chapter 145

He gave them the sword. Of that she was certain, and as close as he had been, she had not seen him. If only. But no, the time was not right yet. He had done as he promised by helping them in a small way. Now, there was one more Horcrux destroyed. As much as she understood the reason he kept his distance, Hermione still wished he had sought her out, so she could see him and be reassured he was still alive. Slowly, the distance between them had become mind-numbing, and their brief journal conversation hardly compensated for actual interaction.

She didn't want her thoughts of him to vanish. They chained her to reality, to life, giving her a reason to fight. It was still about saving the wizarding world and muggle borns, to be sure, but a part of her fight was for saving him. If Voldemort won, what would happen to him? And her? "Harry, Ron," Hermione called softly from her guard outside of the tent where they were sleeping. She needed someone to talk too, and although she couldn't reveal too much, it would go a long way towards soothing her worries.


	146. Chapter 146

"I still care about him," Hermione said. Harry and Ron didn't need to ask who she was referring to.

"He's a traitor, Hermione," Ron said bluntly. Hermione averted her gaze and nodded her head. Harry merely put an arm around her, giving her something to hold onto.

"It doesn't make me miss him any less," Hermione mumbled back.

Harry was at loss for what to say. Struggling for words, he began, "Nor should you. But he's a traitor, and you can't think of him. Try to let go. We have a duty to do. We must..."

"Save the wizarding world," Hermione finished for him. A small flicker of a smile light her face. It was a rarer and rarer occurrence now, not that there had been any more than a handful of non-depressed moments since the start of the extended camping trip. "I just...I hope that when this is all over, one way or another, I can talk to him again."

She hadn't meant to say that. Harry, meanwhile, struggled to contain his anger. His friend was hurting, he knew, and he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He rubbed her back soothingly.


End file.
